Romance And Happiness In This Day And Age

May 27, 2009 | Leave a Comment

I am not a Doctor, a Physiologist nor do I have any degrees or special training in romance and happiness but what I do have is a whole lot of self taught experience on the subject. Like most men, I started life with the belief that romance and sex was the same thing and guaranteed happiness. As I grew older, I learned that this philosophy is the farthest thing from the truth. There is a world of difference between them and in this article I will share with anyone who wants to read it, what romance is and how it can create happiness and how to keep it alive. Keep in mind that this is just an article so it will be the “Readers Digest”, version but I’m sure you will get the basics.

Romance is not only something you read about, see in the movies or on television or dream about, it is a way of life and as such has a language all its own. It is in the things you do and say, in the way you look at someone, touch them and share with them. Unfortunately in today’s fast paced, work harder so we can have more life, simple things like romance get pushed way to the back. For whatever reason making money, buying the newest car or clothes has taken precedent to the warmth and happiness one can experience from a simple touch of a hand.

Happiness can’t be imitated; it is as real as the clouds in the sky or the water that flows down a winding river. It can be felt, touched, sensed and enjoyed. What it can’t be is bought or attained by being ignored. Happiness comes to only those who understand that you have to be happy with yourself before you can have or share real happiness with anyone else. Every morning when we look in the mirror, see the person we are. Not the aesthetics but the inside person, the one we either like or don’t like, the one who makes us who we are and what we don’t like we can change. All any of us has to do is make the first step to change and it will happen.

Romance and happiness is what we all want, long for, desire and can have. The next time you spend time with that special someone instead of being concerned about what we have or what we earn try to share a little of the real person you are or want to be. The next time you come home first instead of chilling out in front of the television or computer, do a load of laundry or surprise that special someone with dinner being cooked or the house being cleaned up. Simple, little things are the real keys to romance and once you figure that out then happiness will be there.

About the Author: Dain Garrett is new to the writing world and being so offers a different perspective to many of the issues faced by so many in today’s world. His writings come from life’s experiences which have given him both many success and failures. It is hoped that the common sense approach the he offers will help some get past the me thing and start to enjoy the we thing.There are many more articles and short stories to come from Dain Garrett, you can read them at http://www.informbyweb.com and http://www.dressageamerica.com.

Posted by Wan | Filed Under Happy Marriage 

Is Love and Romance Still in the Air?

May 20, 2009 | Leave a Comment

Valentine’s Day is long over. How about your love and romance? Are they still in the air?

To most people, romance only happened occasionally and under extraordinary circumstances, e.g. on Valentine’s Day, exotic trip, wedding anniversary, etc.

My wife said that I’m not romantic. It occurred to me that she was making me wrong and I don’t want to argue about it. If giving flowers and having candle light dinner on those special days what romance is all about, then romance to me is a waste of money and time. Nevertheless, as a commitment to experience romance, I took my wife out for a dinner at a hotel (it was not the first time I took her out for dinner). In order to have a romantic atmosphere, we leave the kid at home. I enjoyed the dinner but I don’t feel the romance.

I asked my wife what romance mean to her. She said romance is about expressing and showing someone that you love her, you care for her and she means everything to you. It’s a totally different view and I didn’t know that until I asked her. Wow! I can be romantic everyday in my life, no sweat.

According to Webster Dictionary, romance is a fictitious tale of wonderful and extraordinary events characterized by much imagination and idealization.

Thus I don’t have to wait for Valentine’s Day or special occasion to show up to be and feel romantic. I can create romance every day in my life and I was not expected to give flowers or taking my spouse out for a candle light dinner.

In the nutshell, romance is made up and is not a function of circumstance. Romance is a function of creation and a way of being. Taking a stroll in the park together and talking about ourselves and how much we mean to each other (not about our kids, works and gossiping) can be a romantic moment. Paddling the paddle boat together in the lake garden can be a romantic moment for us as well.

Are you a romantic person? If you’re not, now you can be one.

Posted by Wan | Filed Under Successful Marriage Tips 

Do You Still Have Romance In Your Life?

May 11, 2009 | Leave a Comment

Do You Still Have Romance In Your Life? If your answer to the question is yes, that’s great. I believe you are living a wonderful life. If the answer is no, please don’t be hard on your self. Nothing wrong about not being romantic, it is just the way it is.

In many part of the world, not being romantic are normal among elderly couples. Allow me to share a story about an elderly couple, who happen to be my friends.

Nancy, a 50 year-old secretary could not have asked for a better New Year gift. Nancy’s New Year resolution was to recreate romantic moments with her 60 year-old husband, Raymond.

On the New Year eve, after finishing shopping, Nancy asked Raymond to join her for coffee at Starbucks. Nancy ordered two tall Cappuccino and two blueberry cheese muffins.

“How much you pay the coffee and the muffins?” Raymond asked with a sniff.

“RM19 for the coffee and RM11.20 for the muffins.”

“What? You must be joking,” Raymond said with a tone that can break an argument.

“That goes my romance,” Nancy said to herself.

The next weekend, Nancy tried to have a romantic moment with her husband one more time. They were having their coffee at the same Starbucks outlet,

“What is romance to you?” Nancy tried to understand her husband.

“It was long gone,” Raymond answered in a low voice.

“For me, it is now. At this very moment, having coffee with you and talking about ourselves,” Nancy shared what she got after going beyond strategizing for love.

Nancy’s sharing opened up something for Raymond. He shared that he enjoys watching beautiful orchid and other rare species. He also loves beautiful sceneries. He said that it will be a romantic moment for him to do these things together with his better half.

Nancy was touched with her husband sharing. She realized that it was her who killed off her own romance the other weekend. She expected her husband to appreciate her for buying him coffee and muffin. She was making him wrong when he did not do what she expected him to do and the sky fell down. When she gave up her expectation and take responsibility to create what she wanted, she got the romance.

To Nancy, I acknowledge you for sharing your world with my wife and me. I also acknowledge both of you for your commitment to live life passionately and romantically. You have touched and inspired my wife and me to create romance in our life, any moment that we want. For me this is the happiest moment in my life, the moment that I realized that romance does not depends on extraordinary circumstances to happen such as Valentine’s Day or Anniversary. I’m now present to a notion that romance is a function of creation and a way of being. Thank you again for sharing with us.

Posted by Wan | Filed Under Successful Marriage Tips 

Get Romance Back in Your Marriage

December 9, 2008 | Leave a Comment

Romance is important for your marriage. Lack of romance can drive you nuts. There are people who might take exception to this and say that romance isn’t the important if you really love each other. Romance is more than just affection and intercourse, and when there is no romance, so did the touching, kissing, hugging and other forms of affection. People dry up without affection, they dry up like prunes.

Here is the list of things you can do to re-kindle your romance and put the spark back in your marriage:

  • Leave love notes: Leave love notes around the house for other person to find. You could do that with lipstick on the bathroom mirror, sticky notes all over the house, spelled out in rose petals on the bed, with magnetic poetry magnets on the refrigerator, leave a love message on the answering machine, create a ‘message in a bottle’, bake a cake and leave a message in the frosting, on the back of the cereal box, put it on other person’s shoes, on the steamy shower door, in their wallet.
  • Separate work with romance: Work covers major part of our day, but you should keep the work life separate from your romance life. No more boring details about your project from work.
  • Learn to accept: There will always be some disagreement between you and your partner. There will be time when you disagree with what your partner says or does in public. Instead of belittling your partner in public learn to accept their views in public. If you genuinely don’t like anything then discuss it in private.
  • Dance together: Dancing as a couple can do three things. It will bring the couple closer, it can be something which both the parties can enjoy and at the same time benefit your health. Dancing also helps improve balance and flexibility, keep bones strong and can chemically lift your mood.
  • Cut your power: Fake a power outage. Unplug the phone, computer, TV, fax machines, turn off the lights, and even turn off the cell phone. With nothing else to distract, you have no choice but break out the candles and cling to each other as you tell scary ghost stories or just plain cling to each other.
  • Date together: Being a stay at home parent and devoting your life to your children doesn’t mean your marriage should take a back seat. Scheduling regular date nights will recharge your marriage. Set a regular date night and stick to it. Think beyond dinner in a restaurant and try to have some fun. Arrange for a babysitter so that your night should be stress free and not worried about your children.
  • Show Gratitude: Gratitude is something that is often overlooked in the day to day living of a marriage. Saying thank you shows that you recognize and appreciate the things that your spouse does for you weather it be large like going to work every day or small like packing your spouse’s lunch.
  • Listen to your spouse: Do you listen to your spouse? Hopefully your answer is “yes, of course, I always listen to my spouse.” But would your spouse agree? Ask him or her and listen to the answer. If the answer to the question is “no” or “sometimes”, then you have to work on this.
  • Say “I love you” to each other: It is important in any relationship to tell a person that you love them. It may not always be easy to do, but definitely can improve a relationship and make it stronger. There are tons of different ways that you can say I love you to your spouse. It just takes some creativeness and thinking on your part.
  • Buy a gift: Is there anything your spouse have been eyeing but not buying? Buy that for your spouse and present it as a gift. It doesn’t have to be something expensive but a token that means something to the pair of you.
  • Use laughter for bonding: Watching comedy on TV with the spouse, sharing a joke or looking at old photos is a great way to get more laughter in your life. Humor is good for your health and laughing together is a good for a better bonding.
  • Surprise your spouse: Romance needs work and play. Surprising your spouse will bring a smile to your spouse’s face and a little extra strength to your relationship.
  • Kiss your spouse: This is the most intimate thing you can do with your clothes on and will help to maintain and build up the romantic bond between you as a couple.
  • Make love more often: The more time you spend together in the bedroom, the better it will be for your relationship.

Contributed By: Junaid Mohammad is an expert on Romance and author of this article and runs the resource site http://www.romanceworldinfo.com/ which features information about  Online Romance.

Posted by Wan | Filed Under Save Marriage Tips