Advice On Love To Save Your Relationship

January 15, 2010 | Leave a Comment

Today we are faced with so many things coming at us from so many directions. With all these stresses in life it’s tough to keep our relationships strong, and if you want to save your relationship, just finding the time to work on it can be a challenge. This article will give you advice on love to save your relationship, it’s aimed at all the overly stressed busy people who still want to make their relationships work.

Here are 3 things you can start doing today to keep your relationship strong, or pull it back from the brink. It’s not so much about how much time you spend together, it’s more about the quality of time that the two of you spend together.  Keep that in mind when going over the list:

• Figure out what activities that the two of you like to do as a couple. It doesn’t matter if it’s round of golf or a trip to the local movie theater. As long as you can share an experience that is enjoyable, for both of you. When it’s your time, make arrangements for the kids to spend the night at grandma’s, turn off the cell phones and Blackberries, take the phone off the hook, and turn off the t.v. This is about connecting with each other, not just co-existing in the same place at the same time.This is so important for two reasons.  One, it will allow you time to relax and unwind from the stresses of life.  That will help each of you individually and also will allow both of you to bring more to the relationship since you’ll be more relaxed and at ease.  And two, it gives the two of you precious memories that you can relive from time to time with each other.  It’s fun to have shared experiences where you can say ‘remember when we did…’?  That creates a deeper bond between the two of you..
• So many couples only talk about mundane daily things like asking your spouse if they had a good day,  or if they picked up milk on the way home.  Try to make time each week to really talk.  Don’t turn it into a complaining time, just talk.  Tell your partner about your dreams, relive some fun past times, etc.  Make it a positive time.  Really be willing to talk, and listen, and let each other into your minds a little bit.
• Try to always remind yourself what it was that first attracted you to your partner.  Was it their laugh, their offbeat sense of humor, their goofy expressions? Whatever it was don’t let yourself forget that.  And while you’re reminding yourself, make sure to let them know too.  If you fell in love with their laugh, tell them, often, that you love the way they laugh.  So much of that positive reinforcement seems to go out the window the longer the relationship goes on.  And that’s a shame.  Everyone wants to feel loved and appreciated, don’t ever let your partner feel like you don’t find that thing you fell in love with attractive anymore.

A loving relationship is one of the best things you can do for yourself.  Many people will tell you that relationships are ‘hard’ and that they ‘take a lot of work’.  I don’t agree.  I believe that if you are with the right person, if you’re both mature adults who really want to make the relationship work, and if you know what to look out for, your relationship can be very easy.  Just use this advice on love to save your relationship as a starting point.

How to Deal With Your Marriage Conflicts

January 21, 2009 | Leave a Comment

If you already had a lot of fights and conflicts with each other before your marriage, just imagine the conflicts married life could bring! Disagreeing is inevitable, especially when you get married. This is something that you should understand. Obviously, there is no such thing as “the perfect couple”.

It’s Not the End of Your Fairytale

If you’re newly married and living a fairytale life right now, don’t be afraid of having some conflicts along the way. Also, if you have just had your very first argument as a married couple, do not lose hope. Do not let this incident make you pessimistic about your relationship in general.

Keep in mind that it’s just the beginning of your new life and that both of you have to be strong to keep it running. Your fairytale life can still continue. This is not the end just yet!

What to Do?

What you must realize is that it doesn’t really matter what kind of conflict you’re having or what the reason is, what really matters is how both of you work it out to solve the problem.

How to Deal

Dealing with conflict can be complex, especially if you’re under the influence of anger. Letting yourselves become enraged with emotions just worsens the circumstances, especially if it happens on both sides. Thus, be sure that both of you are always in control of your emotions.

Try your best to master your emotions, especially when in public places. It’s not nice if you pick a fight with your spouse where there are other people. It can be very embarrassing for both of you.

You both should learn how to communicate effectively to state your side of the argument. Do not talk at the same time, hear each other side.

Do not involve other people in your problems; simply because marital problems should be treated as something private that both of you should discuss.

It would also be helpful to learn how to look at your circumstance as a third person point of view. Try looking at the bigger picture, so that you don’t get hooked up with your pride and keep insisting that you’re right.

If you’re talking it over, be sure that both of you are calm while doing so. Also, try your best to think about what you say before speaking. Keep in mind that words can be as sharp as a two-edged sword. Saying something unwarranted can only worsen your situation and hurt your partner even more.

Try putting yourself in your spouse’s shoes. See how doing that can change your perspective on the subject. If you find yourself to be wrong, then be sure that you learn how to ask for forgiveness in a sincere manner.

Making Amends

If you’ll be asking for forgiveness, be sure that you’re sincere about it. Don’t do it just out of lip service. Do so with all your heart. Most of the time, both sides should ask for forgiveness of the other. This especially happens when both of you simply snapped out of anger and have acted inappropriately with each other. If so, be humble enough to admit your mistakes.

However, you should understand that saying you are sorry sometimes isn’t enough. There are instances when extra effort is needed. Don’t be afraid to go a step further than simply saying you are sorry.

Learning to Forgive

On the flip side, you should also learn to forgive. This is probably the most important thing in married life. Learning to forgive and learning to trust are two different things. Trust is something the other person needs to earn. However, when you say that you forgive him/her, be sure that you do so with all your heart. But for you to do that, you should be able to start out with a clean slate with zero grudges on either side.

Find out about the incredibly powerful strategies for resolving your marriage conflicts in a more constructive and less emotionally stressful way at Amy Waterman website:
http://savemarriagesite.com/go/savemarriage.html or you can read my review at:
http://savemarriagesite.com/reviews/save-my-marriage-today

Quieting the Mind – As a Way to Resolve Conflict in Relationships

December 5, 2008 | Leave a Comment

I noticed that most of my interactions with others are confined to exchange of words. I find it so uncomfortable to be with someone without saying a word. I would blink my eyes, scratch my head, look left, smile and other any other action just to make myself feel comfortable. If I keep still and not doing anything, I tend to judge the person or thinking what that person thinks about me. In other words, if I not doing anything my mind will wandering around.

• What I’m going to talk about?
• Why she’s looking at me that way?
• I think she can’t be trusted
• Why she does not say a word?
• What she think about me?

A still and quiet mind can make you less reactive to the “problem” of life and it will give you inner peace. I reckoned still and quiet mind will give a tremendous boost to my relationship with others. I started practising quieting the mind with my wife. We look at each other in the eye and say nothing. It wasn’t easy when we first started. There were a lot of noises in our mind. We tend to do things to cover up being uncomfortable. However, it becomes easy and easier over time. Now we are comfortable being in stillness together. With stillness, comes the sense of spaciousness, spaces that we can fill with anything.

The relationship which is dominated by the noisy mind can easily be taken over by problems and conflict.

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