Effective Tips On How To Save My Marriage

January 28, 2010 | Leave a Comment

Marriage is a union of two people, so finding solutions to your marriage problems together is essential. Here are some tips that can help bring you together and increase the chances of your marriage lasting:

• No marriage is perfect. Unlike fairy tales, typical marriages have their flaws just like each of us do. Do not expect perfection from each other. Accept that there will be lumps and bumps along the way.
• Marriage requires work. For your relationship to work, both of you need to realize that it takes work to make a marriage strong. The more work that you put into your marriage can result in an honest and happy relationship. If you do not take this seriously, it can be detrimental. The areas that typically need the most work involve trust and respect in one another . Without these things, your relationship will fall apart.
• Communicate and listen effectively. Create an environment where you can talk to each other without getting upset. Speak calmly and clearly about how you feel and allow your partner to do the same. Make sure to listen to what they have to say, regardless of what they say. Discuss how each of you feel and find common ground where both of you feel that you can find solutions for issues you are facing. The more open and honest you are with each other, the better.
• Do not dwell on past problems. Do not let past mistakes or misunderstandings determine the future of your marriage. While your past problems may be quite serious, dwelling on them will not help your marriage. Focus on the here and now and take each day as it comes.
• Be more giving to one another. Be considerate of each others needs and feelings. You can do caring gestures to simply show that you are thinking of them. If you are unsure as to what you should do for your spouse, ask them what you can do to make them happy. Doing something that will make them feel loved  and special can go a long way towards strengthening your relationship. Sometimes doing the simplest things can mean the most to them.

If you have tried all of the above and still are asking how to save my marriage, a professional marriage counselor may be your best option. The decision to go to a counselor must be made by both of you as it will not work if you both do not participate fully.

If you are both truly committed to making changes to save your marriage, a counselor can offer unbiased advice to help you. By getting advice from counselor, it may help you see your problems in a different light and help you find solutions.

Healing From A Broken Relationship

January 18, 2010 | Leave a Comment

Healing from a broken relationship is a tough thing to do, but the good news is, it can be done. You just need to understand the process and allow yourself the time that you need.

One of the first things to remember is there is no time limit.  It will take you as much time as it takes you, period. There is no set rule on how long it should take you, though you still should be making some forward progress after a few months.  You may be a long way from being back to normal, but you should be starting to see some light at the end of the tunnel.

One word of caution, though:  if you don’t seem to be making any progress at all, you may want to hire a therapist to help you through the worst of it.  Sometimes having an objective third party who can offer unbiased advice is a good way to help us jumpstart our recovery.  It may even help speed the process along a little, and who wouldn’t want that?

Another thing you can do to help speed things along is find yourself.  This may sound like strange advice but in most relationships you will lose a little of yourself.  This seems to be particularly common with women.  It’s easy to become a ‘we’ and lose a little ‘me’.  And a little of that isn’t a bad thing, but once the relationship has ended it’s time to get your ‘me’ back.

This process will help you heal and grow.  It will remind you that there was a time when you were happy without your ex.  This ‘reawakening’ can be a very exciting time and it can help dull at least some of the pain you’re feeling since the breakup.  If nothing else, it will give you something to occupy your mind with.

Spending time with family and friends will help you enormously too.  Surrounding yourself with people who love you will help you stay strong.  When in the midst of a bad breakup it’s easy to forget that you will be happy again.  It can be hard to see past that black hole, but if you’re with your family and friends they will help you feel the love that you are missing from your ex.

While this isn’t the time to wallow, it might not be a bad idea to remind yourself of the things in the relationship that made you unhappy, or mad, or both.  You don’t want to dwell on the relationship too much at this point but reminding yourself of the bad times might help you gain a little clarity and move the healing process along a little bit.

No matter how you choose to go about it, just remember that healing from a broken relationship is possible.  You will get through it and you will find love and happiness again.  If you learn from your past relationship you can take that knowledge with you into your next relationship which will help make that relationship even better.  Just hang in there.

Long Distance Relationship Advice

January 17, 2010 | Leave a Comment

Maintaining a healthy long distance relationship can be a challenge.  It takes two mature people who are able to communicate in order to make it work.

I’ll outline some of the things that you can do to make your relationship not only survive, but thrive.  I’ve also compiled a few of the most common problems couples face and how to avoid falling into the same traps in your relationship.

One of the first things you and your partner need to do to ensure the continued strength of your relationship is to make sure you are both on the same page.  Make sure you agree on whether or not you have an exclusive relationship. If one partner thinks it’s ok to date while you are apart and the other one is staying monogamous, the relationship is doomed from the start.

For the most part, a couple won’t even contemplate a monogamous long distance relationship unless both parties feel the relationship has the potential to be  a long term one.  There is no sense making this type of commitment unless you both feel that the other person might be ‘the one’.

Another thing you and your partner need to do is make sure you have good communication skills.  When you are far away from each other for extended periods of time, and you can’t have physical contact, you will have to rely solely on your communication skills to continue to build your relationship.

That is why long distance relationships, when they last, are some of the best relationships around.  The couple has to learn to communicate effectively to make it work, and they don’t get distracted by all the physical attraction. They are able to connect on a deeper level which can often lead to a more fulfilling relationship.

If you are an insecure person, though most people won’t admit it if they are, you should avoid getting involved in a long distance relationship.  Being in this type of relationship requires a great amount of trust, typically people who are insecure see a threat everywhere, even where there isn’t one.

If you and your partner are overly suspicious, not only will your relationship be a constant battle, it will also be unlikely to work.  No good relationship can be based on suspicion and insecurities.

You and your partner also need to be careful of the temptation to have a ‘fling’ with someone while away from your partner.  Unless you both agree in advance that some extracurricular activity is ok (and if that’s the case why bother pursuing a long distance relationship in the first place) than you should stay faithful to your partner.

If you want to maintain your long distance relationship you have to know ahead of time that it will be a challenge and you and your partner both have to be committed to making it work, but if you follow my  long distance relationship advice you and your partner have a real shot of having a great, long term loving relationship.

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