I Want to Make My Marriage Work

March 10, 2009 | Leave a Comment


“I want to make my marriage work, but I can’t get over the past.”

Does this sound familiar to you? You might have heard it from your friend, or you yourself might have said it. Getting over the past seems quite impossible for many of us. We can’t forget what has happened in the past, things that hurt us. We are carrying this emotional baggage with us everyday. When similar incident happens again, we add it to the baggage that we are carrying. This baggage is getting heavier and heavier each day. Many of us can’t get rid of this baggage and live a miserable life. If you are in this situation, don’t worry too much. There is hope.

It’s not what happened that make you hurt, angry, etc. It is the meaning you put to what has happened that made you feel that way. For example; your partner forgets your birthday. What comes to your mind?

“I’m not important anymore?”
“He/she doesn’t love me anymore?”
So on and so forth.

It is not that he/she forgot that hurt you. It is the meaning you put to what happened. He/she just forgot, period. You can’t change what has happened, but you can change the meaning you put to what has happened. This is the key to get over the past and move on to live a happy life.

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Married Life, It’s a New World

January 15, 2009 | Leave a Comment

For some marriage can be the most wonderful thing that happened to them. There are people who even say that it’s like a fairy tale come true, coupled with the ever famous “And they lived happily ever after” line. However, what most people do not understand is that getting married means changes. “A lot” of changes!

Yes, finding the man or woman of your dreams is definitely a big milestone in your life. However, things will be much different from how everything was when you were still in the dating stage.

You should keep in mind that you’re not just sweethearts anymore; and that getting married is something that will greatly affect your life one way or another.  You’ve got to be prepared for some lifestyle changes!

With that being said, here are some of the most common lifestyle changes that marriage brings about.

Buy One Take One

First and foremost, you should remember that you’re not single anymore! There are two of you, anytime, all the time. Just think of marriage as super glue, which binds you to your partner. There are now two of you to consider every time either of you have a decision on whatever aspect of each of your individual lives.

In regard to “whatever aspect”, this means every tiny bit of detail. Once you get married, keep in mind that all your decisions and actions also affect your spouse. It’s a mutually inclusive situation.

No More Flirting

This is just common sense. If you want to maintain a healthy relationship with your partner loyalty is something you practice at all times under any circumstance.

Two Peas in a Pod

Aside from the sexual aspect, for people who have slept alone in bed since childhood, marriage brings a different dynamic to your life.  Suddenly, you have someone sharing your bed every day. You should start getting used to the fact that you’ll be seeing someone else sleeping on the other side of the bed with you every time you wake up. So, if you’re not used to this kind of set-up, then it would probably be best if you buy a bigger bed. This would lessen your feeling of being cramped when you sleep.

Your New Roommate

Other than sharing the bed, you also have to share rooms. When you get married, there’s a small chance that you’d get to have your room decorated with all the Barbie pink (for girls) or checker race car flags (for boys) that you want. Although it is your room, you’d definitely have to consider your partner’s taste. In fact, this doesn’t only apply to your room, but throughout your home.

Know Your Priorities

Getting married also means you should be able to establish your priorities. In married life, there are such things that you call “family affairs”. Thus, you have to make sure that you spend quality time with your family. These family occasions are very important too, just like your next business meeting. Be sure that you are able to make some time for family, no matter how small or large the event.