If You Don’t Want Divorce, Don’t Consider It

January 25, 2010 | Leave a Comment

No one goes into their marriage wanting to fail. Many couples don’t want divorce because they believe that it equals failure. New facts and figures now state that if divorce is not considered when problems arise in a marriage that couples can resolve their issues and have a stronger marriage.

If you are having problems and are considering divorce, make sure to try to find alternatives that promote fixing the problems via open and truthful communication or marriage counseling. This is preferable over the pain and effort involved in divorcing your spouse.

When others hear that you are having marriage trouble, many couples get unsolicited advice from friends and coworkers that they really dont want. Divorce to others can be seen as a quick fix when in truth it can simply add to your problems rather than fixing them. While you appreciate the support and advice offered by your friends, keep in mind that this is your marriage, not theirs.

By looking at statistics, 80 percent of surveyed couples who at one time considered divorce and subsequently decided not to go through with it claimed to be happily married years later. This can be explained by two possible outcomes. The first is that the couples who previously were considering divorce decided to deal with their problems directly. In doing so, it not only acknowledged their problems but it may have resulted in their finding effective solutions that saved their marriage.

The second is that when divorce was considered that it can change the entire dynamic of a relationship. For some couples this could be a positive thing or it could be detrimental to others. If a problem develops, those considering a divorce could see this as a way out without ever dealing with the issue directly. If these problems grow or the issues faced become more divisive, the option of divorce can be seen as an easy out and therefore become very appealing.

However, those who did not consider a divorce may find some success. They are forced to deal with their problems, and possibly find a constructive solution and common ground. Although this can be hard work and is not as easy as a divorce appears to be in fixing problems, working together and facing issues can be much more rewarding.

Marriage is a team of two players. When both players are actively working towards solutions to their problems and remove divorce as an option, resolutions can be found for their differences. This will strengthen their marriage as you will be working towards something better rather than looking for a way to cut your losses and run.

If you remove divorce as an option and resolve to work through your differences, you can make your marriage work.  It will give you the motivation to work to improve your relationship through understanding and communication. By listening to each other and finding ways to compromise that benefit the both of you; you can build a marriage that will last for years to come.

You Dont Want Divorce – 3 Ways To Stop It

August 6, 2009 | Leave a Comment

Things aren’t going well, but you don’t want divorce to end your relationship. What can you do?  If you don’t want divorce there are three specific things you can do to stop it.

These tips won’t work in every situation—some relationships are too far gone. But most relationships start having troubles long before they reach this point, thankfully.

When you don’t want divorce but your partner does, try being quiet for a while. Just don’t say anything. Stop complaining. The worst thing you can do is to carry on about how you don’t want to get divorced.

You can let your partner know that you don’t want the divorce. And that’s about all you can do. Perhaps you could reassure them that couples go through this kind of thing all the time and are still together today. Just don’t do it more than once.

If you carry on and carry on about how you want to stay together, you’ll probably just annoy your partner, making it less likely for him to be open to the idea of staying together. The whole point is to make yourself extra desirable to your partner again.

It’s unlikely he or she finds you particularly desirable when you’re complaining and whining about inconsequential things. That tendency to complain and even nag may have had something to do with why the relationship broke up in the first place, remember.

You want to show your very best side to your partner at all times. When you started dating this person, you were probably on your own very best behavior. Everyone does that to win a mate’s heart. Then as things start to stagnate a little because the mate is won and there’s no need to compete with others anymore, the tendency to whine and complain begins.

Stop this immediately and go back to your very best “going to win them” courting behavior. That is often such a switch from the way things were in the beginning, that it seems almost too good to be true.

Going hand in hand with taking care not to complain or nag is learning to simply be agreeable. We tend to take our partner for granted and when he or she suggests something we’re not happy with, we make it known. If we do that too often it can start to seem to our partner that they can’t do or say anything right!

If you don’t want divorce then learn to agree with your partner even when you don’t want to. That might sound a little extreme, but you’re in rescue mode right now. You just want to do everything you can to save the marriage. It doesn’t mean that you’ll never be able to disagree with them for the rest of your life.

You need to learn to not whine, to agree and to do it all with a smile on your face. If you don’t want divorce you’ll have to do these things for at least a little while.

How to Save Your Marriage

April 18, 2009 | Leave a Comment

If you are having trouble with your marriage, don’t worry too much because you are not alone. Many people have no idea what to do to save their marriage. But you? You are here, searching for the answer on how to save your marriage. Some people believe that they have no choice but to allow their marriage to fall apart. Divorce may not necessarily be the solution to your unhappiness. You can’t solve a problem by creating another problem. In life, people always have choices.

Consider these:

1. Studies suggested that divorced individuals don’t end up happier. You can chose to divorce and end up miserable five years later OR stay married and will be “very happy” after five years.

2. Divorce do has impact on children. How they react to their divorcing parents depends on their age. Choose between your children whole life misery and your five years misery.

3. The divorce rate of remarriages is higher than the first marriages. So you can choose to work on your current marriage or remarry.

Is your situation hopeless? No. There is a way, but only if you chose to save your marriage.

Amy Waterman and her team are committted to help you save your marriage even if only you are willing to work on it. Visit http://www.savemarriagesite.com/go/savemarriage.html to find out how.

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