Avoiding A Love Break Up

March 29, 2009 | Leave a Comment

If you’ve ever had your love break up you know how painful it is.  And if you thought back after the relationship ended, you probably saw all the signs that you didn’t recognize before. If you’ll remember those signs and keep them in mind, they can help you prevent a break up in the future.  And they can also help you get back together after a split.

One sure sign of impending love break up is the lack of physical contact. This doesn’t just mean sex.  If your partner suddenly stops having an interest in sex, that’s a good sign that a break up is coming.  But the normal flow and rhythm of a relationship has times when there’s lots of sex and times when there’s not much. This is natural.

A love break up is probably on the horizon though, if your partner stops holding your hand for no apparent reason.  Or he or she stops putting an arm over your shoulder at the movies or in public when he or she always did it before. Any sudden changes like not touching you much outside the bedroom when your partner was always very affectionate before could signal problems.

If it goes beyond not touching to the person actually becoming uncomfortable at your touch, then you definitely need to have a conversation with your partner about what’s going on.  Don’t just assume that because your partner flinched away from your touch that there’s about to be a love break up, though.  Many things can cause a person to not want to be touched at any given moment.

A person might have been thinking of something else and been surprised or startled by the touch.   He or she might think that your touch signals that it’s time to have sex, if you’re not very affectionate except when you want to be intimate.  And maybe your partner isn’t in the mood for sex now and chose to show you that by moving away from your touch.  That doesn’t mean you’re headed for a love break up.

Your partner might simply not feel good. Every change in a person’s behavior doesn’t signal an impending love break up or even anything wrong with the relationship.  You have to watch them closely for a while to determine if some behavior is an occasional thing, something brought on only during certain times, or if it’s a permanent part of the person’s make up.

Catching your partner in lies, even what seem like small and harmless ones, could be a sign of problems, too. After all, if a lie is small and harmless, why tell it in the first place?  Where there’s one tiny lie, larger and more damaging lies can grow. Don’t become convinced it’s a love break up right away though. People lie about many things that aren’t bad, like surprise parties and reunions.  Your partner might be trying to keep a harmless and fun secret like that, instead of scheming about a love break up.

Get advance technique to prevent break-up at:

http://savemarriagesite.com/go/makingupmagic.html

Posted by Wan | Filed Under Successful Marriage Tips 

I Love You But I’m Not “In Love” With You

February 4, 2009 | Leave a Comment

Did your spouse tell you, “I love you, but I’m not IN LOVE with you?”

What does that statement mean?

A person who says, “I love you, but I’m not IN LOVE with you,” is making a distinction between 2 different feelings. But NEITHER of those feelings are love!

When a person says, “I love you, but I’m not IN LOVE with you,” they’re saying that I CARE about you but I’m not EXCITED about you.

CARING about someone is a good thing. It’s reflective of CONCERN. But it’s different than love. I care about the starving children in Africa, but I don’t love them.

Being EXCITED about someone is also a good thing. But it’s different than love. I might be excited to have a relationship with the President of the United States or a Hollywood star, but that doesn’t mean I love them.

While someone who says, “I love you, but I’m not IN LOVE with you” seems to be making a distinction between “different loves;” in fact, they are expressing their confusion about what love really is. And that’s why they’re having marital problems and maybe even an affair (because who are they IN LOVE with?).

Love is something we articulate in the vocabulary of ACTION. Love is a verb. It’s not a feeling you get from another PERSON; it’s an experience you receive as a result of DEEDS YOU DO for another person.

And those deeds are not a secret. In other words, love is NOT a mystery! There are specific things you can do with your spouse to solve your problems and build love in your marriage.

Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationship WILL make your marriage stronger. It’s a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable—you can “make” love.

This is exactly why I created the Marriage Fitness program. I wanted to offer people a step-by-step system to make and maintain love in their marriage. And the program works for any marriage, even if only one spouse does it.

Very often in my private coaching sessions, someone will say to me, “I love my spouse, but I’m not IN LOVE with my spouse.”

My immediate response is to ask, “Can you list for me 5 ways in the last week that you’ve DEMONSTRATED your love for your spouse?”

I usually hear noise on the other end of the phone; grunts, partial statements, and gasps for breath, but none of what I hear ever passes for an answer to my question.

“I love you, but I’m not IN LOVE with you” is a cop out. It basically means that I have no clue how to make a relationship last LONG-TERM so I’m exiting to get high from another short-term romance. But whoever they’re IN LOVE with now will also eventually hear, “I love you, but I’m not IN LOVE with you.”

Of course, this is all fine and good, but it’s really your spouse who needs to hear this, right?

Do NOT print this email out and give it to them. And do NOT tell them what I said.

Getting your spouse from “I love you, but I’m not IN LOVE with you” to “Okay, let’s give this another chance” is a tricky task. If this is your situation, it’s crucial you handle it strategically. One false step and your marriage could be over. If you take the right steps, you can draw your spouse back in and begin to restore your marriage TOGETHER. How do you do that?

Learn more about the Marriage Fitness system of relationship renewal from Mort Fertel, a marriage coach and author of Marriage Fitness. Subscribe to Mort’s FREE report, “7 Secrets for a Stronger Marriage” and getting a FREE marriage assessment. Click here to subscribe. It’s FREE.

Posted by Wan | Filed Under Save Marriage Tips 

Want Your Ex Back? A Lesson from Being Robbed At Gunpoint!

January 26, 2009 | Leave a Comment

Is there something you can learn by being robbed at gunpoint?

As TW Jackson explains in the Magic of Making Up System, after your initial contact… you want to set up your “1st Date” again. AND the MOST important part, the secret and the part nobody else but Jackson will tell you is the date HAS to be EMOTIONALLY CHARGED. Okay?

That DOES NOT mean ‘dinner and a movie’. It’s because… well… it’s BORING… and does not create a bonding… or in our case a RE-bonding experience.

In fact, you want to pack in several emotionally charged mini-dates in a span of a couple hours. Why?

If you just do ‘dinner and a movie’ you lose out on a sociologically PROVEN principle… emotionally charged experiences = bond.

Look at it in another way.

Last time you went to the bank, do you remember the person in line in front of you? Behind you? Probably not. Me neither.

But, what if while you were in the bank, it was ROBBED AT GUNPOINT? The robbers couldn’t get the safe open. The robbers are livid, screaming and waving huge guns around. The tension feels so thick you could cut through it with a knife. You are lying face down on the cold bank floor and can see your breath fogging up the tile below. You are trembling…because it is eerily silent for a moment.

“Oh my God!”

“Where are the robbers?”

“Are they behind me?”

“Are they watching me?”

So you slowly move your eyes around and see a sweet older lady lying right next to you. She looks a little like Grandma, and you come out of your own haze enough to realize that she is even more terrified than you. She is softly sobbing.

You slowly reach out and take her hand in yours and give her a little squeeze that says…”it’s go to be all right.”

NOW! Let me ask?

“Are you going to EVER forget that older lady?” “Do you think she will EVER forget you?”

Not in a million Sundays!

Now…I’m not saying to go rob a bank on your first date! LOL.

But you want to go on an EMOTIONALLY charged and exciting date… and preferably several mini-dates in a span of a couple hours.

A short roller coaster ride is one GREAT example.

TW Jackson teaches you more about things like emotionally charged dates in the Magic of Making Up System. You’ll also discover psychological tactics and techniques you can use to get you BACK on that first date with your ex again.

Get a special unannounced bonus called ‘Mind Magic’ when you reserve your copy of the ‘Magic of Making Up System’ through this special link:
http://savemarriagesite.com/go/makingupmagic.html.

Posted by Wan | Filed Under Get Ex Back 

What Will You Do to Get Your Ex Back?

October 30, 2008 | Leave a Comment

What do you think people normally do to get their ex back? Studies show that some of the common things that people do to get their ex back are:

  • Apologizing and swearing that things will be different from now on
  • Telling her/him that you love her/him and she or he will always be the only woman/man for you
  • Giving your ex reassurance that you have changed so both of you should try again
  • Persuading her/him to have a conversation with you about giving the relationship another chance
  • Using money, kids, jealousy, or some other kind of manipulative leverage to “force” her/him to come back

Sad to say, the above ploys, tricks or any form of manipulation and persuasion that people do to win their ex back can actually pushed her/him away, rather than getting her/him back. It’s natural, the time after a breakup is an emotional time and one tend to act based on emotion and made those crucial mistakes.

Thus if you recently broken up with your true love, it’s crucial for you to know the common mistakes people make following a breakup and refrain yourself from doing it.

Annalyn Caras, author of Win Back Love, discussed about 10 common mistakes that people normally do in their quest to get their ex back. She also shows how you can avoid doing the same mistakes and damaging your chances of getting back together with your ex. Visit her website through this link: http://savemarriagesite.com/go/winbacklove.html

Posted by Wan | Filed Under Get Ex Back 

Win Back Your Lost Love

October 18, 2008 | Leave a Comment

I stumbled upon a free resource on winning love back and found it to be a very useful win back love guide. The mini ebook was written by Katie, the author of Win Back Your Lost Love. Basically what Katie teaches in the ebook can be divided into 3 sections:

  • The common mistakes that people make when trying to win back love.
  • What went wrong in the first place? You can’t fix the problem if you don’t know what it is.
  • 4-step action plan to attract lover back.

One of the 5 mistakes that people make as discussed by Katie was “playing victim”. It is obvious that playing victim won’t work in winning love back. The sad thing is that common people are not aware that they are playing victim. What they didn’t see probably are:

  • They want to make their ex wrong for living them.
  • Justify that their ex are jerks.
  • Dominate people around them or win their sympathy.

You can learn more from the book. I don’t have the distribution right to ebook, but you can download it free from Katie’s website. http://www.truelovereturns.com

Posted by Wan | Filed Under Get Ex Back