Do A Marriage Quiz Today – Have Fun

May 22, 2010 | Leave a Comment

If you want some light entertainment one evening why not do a marriage quiz together? These tests are designed to be a bit of fun but sometimes they can be used for other purposes.  Some people will use them to sort out the problems in their relationship which is rather unrealistic unless both of you have taken a truth drug.  For example, if you are both in a loving mood then you will score highly on these tests as you will both be open to the suggestions that your partner is wonderful. However if he is less than Romeo in your eyes or she resembles your mother in law more than the wife you married, you can get all the wrong results.  For example, they can be used to check compatibility, although one could argue that it is a bit late checking that when you are already married!

So you have been warned, what can start as a game can quickly turn into an argument if you have underlying issues already.  So if you two have been fighting a lot lately perhaps this is not the type of fun you should engage in.  But that being said, they can be a useful way to open up a discussion particularly if you find it difficult to talk about your problems. You may find that the quiz opens up some doors to better communication between you.  If you want to start talking about a difficult topic you might want to introduce a quiz as an idea for an activity that both of you can do together when the kids have gone to bed.  Just be careful as these things can spiral out of control very quickly if either partner takes offence easily.

Where can you find these marriage quizzes?  They regularly appear in magazines and are also available online.   But if you are having problems in your relationship this is the not the way to resolve them. You need to get some help whether you try a relationship counseling service or some self help books and courses.  If you are not sure where to start you could try The Magic Of Making Up which helps to develop proper communication between spouses and partners.  Sometimes it can seem like men and women are from two different planets. They often want the same things but are not sure how to put this into words.

Every couple have days where they argue constantly and appear to have lost all love for one another.   It is only when these days outnumber the good ones that you need to be concerned.  A marriage quiz is meant as a bit of fun and we all need some fun and light entertainment in our lives particularly if we are going through stressful times.  One of the best ways of keeping your relationship alive is to laugh together.  Try renting an old funny movie or doing a quiz.  Whatever works for you.

Marriage Seminars – Are They Worth It?

May 19, 2010 | Leave a Comment

Marriage seminars are becoming very popular with a variety of people and you may have thought about attending one yourself.  In certain parts of the world you cannot have a church wedding without first attending a marriage seminar.  The idea is that by going to one of these courses, the couple get a chance to explore the various issues that they may face during married life.  The person leading the seminar will show them how to explore their different responses and how best to communicate with each other.

Do these courses work?  That is actually hard to quantify as it is difficult to measure the success rate. If a couple attends a relationship seminar and decides not to get married you don’t keep any statistics on them.  If after attending the seminar they go ahead and get married and perhaps divorce in five years time, the statistics are already skewed.  Some couples do benefit but some just attend as it is mandatory and they won’t be allowed have their big day in the Church without having a certificate to prove they were there.

The other form of marriage seminar is the one organized for those that are already married.  These seminars run all over the country. There are a variety available.  For example, you can attend a Christian seminar or one designed for another religion. Some seminars have no religious bias at all. The idea is to give couples an open platform in a neutral setting to discuss issues that may be preventing them from connecting properly.  Do these types of courses work?  Well yes for some people but it really depends on what type of couple you are and what your problems are. If you are very private and don’t like discussing issues in front of other people you are unlikely to find that this type of event will help you.

You would probably benefit from one to one marriage counseling instead. What can work for everyone is some education into how relationships work and how to fix those that are not working properly.  A great book for anyone to read and implement is the Magic of Making Up.  As the title suggests it is aimed at those who are having problems and want to resolve them.  If you have a read of the testimonials you will see how many people credit it with giving them back their happy relationships.  Even if you haven’t reached the point of breakup you can benefit from reading and applying the knowledge that you learn from books like these.

We can all benefit from better communication skills.  It is just a pity that it takes a crisis or thoughts of a marriage seminar for us to realize that we need help and soon.  Don’t take your relationship for granted. It needs care and attention in order to flourish.  But when it does you will be so much happier.

Understanding The Wife Husband Relationship

August 23, 2009 | Leave a Comment

The wife husband relationship can be a complicated one. Many marriages fail because one or both partners don’t really understand the dynamic of the relationship. If even one person has a basic understanding of it, the marriage is bound to be stronger. But if both people understand how a wife husband relationship works, then it has the best chance of being a good marriage.

One of the keys to understanding the wife husband relationship is to realize just how different men and women really are. Aside from the obvious physical differences, the sexes are different emotionally and mentally, too.

When faced with a problem, for instance, men and women tend to approach it from completely different angles. Women are more likely to discuss it with other people. They might get advice and input from a few friends. It’s not uncommon for women to talk about the problem at length.

That’s because women solve problems when they talk about them. They explore all the angles of the issue and how they feel about it, and often in doing so a solution appears.

Men, on the other hand, tend to be more tight-lipped about problems. They think about it more than they talk about it. It’s more common for a man to ponder a problem and say little until he’s figured out the solution.

In the wife husband relationship this difference in problem solving can itself be a problem. He might think that she’s talking it to death when she should be trying to figure it out herself. And she might think he’s not even worried about something because he’s not talking about it .When in reality, it’s on his mind all the time and he’s just not pointing it out.

Sometimes, women tend to talk about things that they don’t necessarily want help with, or advice about. They simply want someone to listen to their opinion and thoughts. Where if a man is talking about something, it’s because he wants an answer.

If a woman is talking about something just to get it off her chest or vent, other women tend to get that and offer support. They don’t try to tell her what to do for the most part, but simply join in the conversation in empathy.

A man might simply state a solution and tell the woman what she should do, thinking he’s being very helpful and doing what he’s supposed to. But really, the woman will feel that he’s not listening and instead just trying to end the conversation.

Of course, not every wife husband relationship will happen exactly like these examples. Some men will talk out a problem and some women will be tight-lipped about it. But in general, the sexes can be expected to follow these typically patterns.

Understanding those patterns can help you stop yourself before you do something that’s natural to you. You can think about what your partner needs from you instead, and do that .Your wife husband relationship will be much stronger and happier because of it.

Reaching Forgiveness

June 7, 2009 | Leave a Comment

“How can I forgive my parents when they were so abusive to me when I was growing up?”

“How can I forgive my spouse for cheating on me?”

“How can I forgive my best friend for abandoning me?”

“How can I face and forgive unforgiving abusers and manipulators?”

“How can I forgive myself when others do not forgive me and throw my past in my face every chance they get?”

These are some of the questions about forgiveness my clients have asked me over the 37 years that I have been a counselor.

We have all been told that forgiveness is good for the soul, and it is. Yet forgiveness cannot be forced. We cannot will ourselves to forgive, because if we try to deny the anger, blame and judgment that may still be there, it is likely to come out at some point. So how do we reach forgiveness?

Forgiveness toward others is the natural outcome of forgiving ourselves and of taking loving care of ourselves. When we judge ourselves, we will have a tendency to project that judgment onto others, no matter how much we tell ourselves that we have forgiven them.

Let’s start with the first statement, “How can I forgive my parents when they were so abusive to me when I was growing up?” My experience is that as long as you continue to treat yourself in the abusive ways your parents may have treated you, you cannot reach forgiveness. It is your lack of self-care that perpetuates the anger toward others.

As adults, we each have a wonderful opportunity to learn to treat ourselves with the love, respect, caring and understanding that we may have lacked as children. When we don’t do this, the past becomes the present as we continue to abuse ourselves in the ways we may have been abused, and then continue to blame others for how we end up feeling as a result of our lack of self-care.

“How can I forgive my spouse for cheating on me?” You will not be able to forgive a spouse until you fully take responsibility for your participation in the relationship issues that may have contributed to the infidelity. There are always ways you did not listen to yourself or honor yourself that put you in the position of being betrayed. As you look deeply within and discover how you might have betrayed yourself and learn to forgive yourself, you may reach forgiveness for your spouse, even if you end up leaving the relationship.

“How can I forgive my best friend for abandoning me?” The world tends to mirror to us whatever is happening in our own inner system. When we feel abandoned by someone, there is a good possibility that we have abandoned ourselves – that we have failed to attend to our own feelings and needs and have failed to be a loving advocate for ourselves. Once again, you will discover that if you learn how to take loving care of yourself, you will find your anger toward others gradually disappearing.

“How can I face and forgive unforgiving abusers and manipulators?” Others’ behavior actually has little to do with whether we choose to be judgmental or accepting and forgiving. When we learn to be compassionate rather than judgmental toward the wounded, manipulative side of ourselves, we will naturally be compassionate toward others’ wounded, manipulative behavior. Once again, forgiveness is the natural outgrowth of doing our inner work, of moving out of self-judgment and into self-compassion.

“How can I forgive myself when others do not forgive me and throw my past in my face every chance they get?” You will stay stuck in anger and judgment, and in feeling like a victim, as long as you make others responsible for whether or not you forgive yourself. Others’ forgiveness has nothing to do with your own decision to judge or forgive yourself.

When you learn to move out of judgment and into compassion – first for yourself and then for others – you will find yourself forgiving yourself and others. Forgiveness is the natural outgrowth of compassion.

About the Author: Margaret Paul, Ph.D. best-selling author of eight books, and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing process. Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com or email her at margaret@innerbonding.com Phone Sessions.

True Love And Happiness Family

May 30, 2009 | Leave a Comment

Family means warmness place to stay, happiness time to share, and understanding persons around you. It is also a base of society. If a child comes from the happy family, it is sure that he or she is going to be a good people in the country. Some families are small; maybe have only a couple of lovers. Some are big families; maybe have father, mother, suns, daughters or grand parents stay together.

The beginning of a family comes from love of a man and a woman, which design to spend the life together. Love is a description word. The power of love can make everything miracle, you can do the thing that you never do before. Moreover the power of it makes you forgive someone with out any commitment. In the opposite way, hot or ardent love can damage anything neither. So it is hard to find true love and stay with someone for ever and ever. Before love somebody you have to learn each other for long time. This part is helping manual for you to know what the true love is and who truly love you.

1. He/she takes heed on you every time not only the early time of love beginning.
2. He/she will do everything that makes you feel happy although it will trouble or hardship to him/her.
3. He/she will beside and listens to you every time you need somebody.
4. He/she will forgive you although you make him/her disappointed.
5. He/she should be not gives you up whenever you have any problem or to be down on your luck.
6. He/she will understand what you think and should be share the opinions to the right way.
7. He/she will accepts everything that is yours; characteristic, habit, property or personality.
8. He/she should be persuades you to do the right or good thing and protest you when you go on misguided way.
9. He/she should be kind to your parents and your cousins.
10. He/she should be open heart and disclosed to you.

After you find the true love and get married with someone. It is sure that you and your lover will have a resent or angry in some days because nobody can not agree with you everything in ten or twenty years that live together.

This part is helping manual for you to understand how to handle your love and stay with someone with the less offend.

1. You have to listen to him/her much before speaking.
2. You have to understand what his/her attitude before decisions everything.
3. You have to patient to the bad satiation, bad even or bad temperature that may crash to your family.
4. Trustfulness is the important base of family. You have to trust him/her.
5. Beside with him/her every time he/she need someone to understand.
6. Try to please him/her in everyday.
7. Do not forget the important day such as his/her birthday or anniversary and give him/her a special present.
8. Forgive him/her when he/she has mistake, try to explain and develop to the good habits.
9. Go outside together for dinner or picnic in some times for change the environment, join the activities and spare time together such as planting flowers and find a puppet to feed.
10. Although you stay with him/her for a long time but do not forget to add the sweetening agent everydays for your life by KISS and say “I LOVE YOU”.

About the Author: Navivar Athi is a pharmacist. You can consult her at Health-Care. Her websites include: Automotive and Business.

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