You Dont Want Divorce – 3 Ways To Stop It

August 6, 2009 | Leave a Comment

Things aren’t going well, but you don’t want divorce to end your relationship. What can you do?  If you don’t want divorce there are three specific things you can do to stop it.

These tips won’t work in every situation—some relationships are too far gone. But most relationships start having troubles long before they reach this point, thankfully.

When you don’t want divorce but your partner does, try being quiet for a while. Just don’t say anything. Stop complaining. The worst thing you can do is to carry on about how you don’t want to get divorced.

You can let your partner know that you don’t want the divorce. And that’s about all you can do. Perhaps you could reassure them that couples go through this kind of thing all the time and are still together today. Just don’t do it more than once.

If you carry on and carry on about how you want to stay together, you’ll probably just annoy your partner, making it less likely for him to be open to the idea of staying together. The whole point is to make yourself extra desirable to your partner again.

It’s unlikely he or she finds you particularly desirable when you’re complaining and whining about inconsequential things. That tendency to complain and even nag may have had something to do with why the relationship broke up in the first place, remember.

You want to show your very best side to your partner at all times. When you started dating this person, you were probably on your own very best behavior. Everyone does that to win a mate’s heart. Then as things start to stagnate a little because the mate is won and there’s no need to compete with others anymore, the tendency to whine and complain begins.

Stop this immediately and go back to your very best “going to win them” courting behavior. That is often such a switch from the way things were in the beginning, that it seems almost too good to be true.

Going hand in hand with taking care not to complain or nag is learning to simply be agreeable. We tend to take our partner for granted and when he or she suggests something we’re not happy with, we make it known. If we do that too often it can start to seem to our partner that they can’t do or say anything right!

If you don’t want divorce then learn to agree with your partner even when you don’t want to. That might sound a little extreme, but you’re in rescue mode right now. You just want to do everything you can to save the marriage. It doesn’t mean that you’ll never be able to disagree with them for the rest of your life.

You need to learn to not whine, to agree and to do it all with a smile on your face. If you don’t want divorce you’ll have to do these things for at least a little while.

Posted by Wan | Filed Under Save Marriage Tips 

How To Save My Marriage 2 Secret Techniques

August 3, 2009 | Leave a Comment

If you’re wondering, “How to save my marriage?” then you only have to look around you to remember the things you did together when you were first married or first dating. Are you still doing those things today? If you’re trying to figure out, “How to save my marriage?” then chances are you’re not.

Marriages get into trouble for a variety of different reasons. There are affairs, lies, boredom, changes people go through that make them more or less appealing to each other, moves, children, jobs . . . . All these things factor into a marriage and help determine whether it’s healthy or whether you’ll end up asking, “How to save my marriage?”

If there are have been affairs or serious betrayals and lies, then probably the best thing you can do if you want to save the marriage it to go to counseling. This isn’t one of the secret techniques, but it’s probably the only one that can really help once things like that have gone on.

Through marriage counseling, you may be able to get at the heart of why there was cheating, and find ways to make sure it doesn’t happen again. Counseling may also lead you to the painful decision that you don’t want to remain in such a marriage where you may not be able to trust your spouse again (or yourself, if you’re the one who cheated).

Sometimes marriage counseling is very painful while you’re going, but once the painful things come out it’s like a wound that’s been cleaned out –now it can start to heal.

The secret techniques aren’t really secret either, but they might as well be because few people every try them and instead do the exact opposite.

The first thing you can do when you find yourself asking, “How to save my marriage?” is to simply leave your spouse alone. Enjoy some me time without your partner. It doesn’t have to be for very long. It can be just a few days. Just make sure your partner knows that it isn’t practice for splitting up, you’re just giving him or her a little breathing room.

Sometimes marriages suffer because spouses spend too much time together. If that’s the case in your marriage, some time apart can be a very good thing.

If the problem with the marriage is that you spend too much time apart already, then you can make a difference in your marriage by taking some initiative. Vow right now to make some changes, and go and schedule a weekend getaway for you both. If that’s too expensive, plan an outing for the day. Or plan three hours of dinner and a movie where it’s just the two of you, on a private and surprise date.

You’d be surprised how these two secret techniques, when used at the appropriate times, can feel so good they’ll take you from asking, “How to save my marriage?” to wondering why you hadn’t been doing these things for several years.

Posted by Wan | Filed Under Save Marriage Tips 

Successful Marriage: No Pointing Fingers

July 1, 2009 | Leave a Comment

A man asked his father-in-law, “Many people praised you for a successful marriage. Could you please share with me your secret?”

The father-in-law answered in a smile, “Never criticize your wife for her shortcomings or when she does something wrong. Always bear in mind that because of her shortcomings and weaknesses, she could not find a better husband than you.”

We all look forward to being loved and respected. Many people are afraid of losing face. Generally, when a person makes a mistake, he would look around to find a scapegoat to point the finger at. This is the start of a war. We should always remember that when we point one finger at a person, the other four fingers are pointing at ourselves.

If we forgive the others, others will ignore our mistake too.

Source: Subasree K

Posted by Wan | Filed Under Save Marriage Tips 

4 Great Lessons From Relationships Experts

June 30, 2009 | Leave a Comment

If you’ve read or listened to relationships experts, you know that some of what they say is just common sense. They tell us things we already know, but they’re great at putting it into words and examples that make things easier to understand. The best relationships experts just know how to communicate.

They can take those common sense things and say them in a way that makes you “get it.” Like the concept of  what to expect and what to give in a relationship. This is one of the best lessons you can get from relationships experts.

Very often we go along in a relationship and as time goes on we start to take the other person for granted a little bit. We don’t thank them as much, and sometimes we don’t do nice things in return for them quite as much.

It’s not that we don’t want to, but that we simply forget or think there will be time later. After the relationship hit a rocky period and ended and you’ve gotten back together, remember to be thoughtful and kind becomes very important. Relationships experts stress that as a good way to keep a relationship strong.

A second great lesson from the experts is to do what the other person will appreciate. This is another great common sense lesson that’s all too easy to overlook. It applies to anytime during a relationship but after you’ve gotten back together from a break up or other bad patch it’s even more important.

To do what the other person wants doesn’t mean you should never consider yourself. But you should try to do what appeals to them to show them that you care. If it really makes you happy when your boyfriend helps you wash the dishes, then maybe if you helped him with some housework that would make him feel loved, too.

But there may be ways he likes to feel loved that are different. He might be the type of person who likes to hear you say it often, or likes romantic gestures. Even if those things aren’t as important to you, you need to do the things that are special to him.

Sometimes we forget that, or we just assume that everyone responds to the same things. But doing what makes the other person feel most special is easy to do, as long as we remind ourselves to do it.

And a lesson that the experts teach that often goes forgotten is respect. Of course, you respect your boyfriend or girlfriend, but does it always show?  This is part of taking them for granted but goes beyond not thanking them or returning loving gestures.

Often, the person we’re closest to gets the brunt our worst days. We might be late for something and keep them waiting, or we might just accidentally be inconsiderate and not apologize enough. Take a lesson from the relationships experts and ask yourself if you treat your partner with the same respect you would treat a parents or co-worker.

Posted by Wan | Filed Under Save Marriage Tips 

Prayers to Save My Marriage

June 23, 2009 | Leave a Comment

According to spiritualism, the prayer is to discover and develop the divinity which can work a lot in every problem of life. It gives you emotional strength to fight with the problems. Can you believe that the prayers can help you to save your married life? Separation or divorce seems to be a simple term, but its effects on both the partners may be long-lasting. You may lose your economical, physical, emotional and social stability.

Divorce is also not good for the sake of the future of your children. Hence, when you feel that your marriage is in crisis and you find yourself helpless, you may start praying the god. You may ask the religious leaders about prayers to save my marriage.

The prayers may be useful to heal the relationships and save the troubled marriage. They can help to overcome the obstacles in your married life. When you come to know that your marriage is in trouble, you get mentally disturbed and terrified. Your life becomes stressful and you may feel helpless, lonely and frustrated. To cope up with this situation, you should be able to control your emotions and face the problem with great tolerance and patience. You will be able to overcome the stress and live peacefully with the help of prayers.

The prayers may help to improve your virtue of forgiveness and make your mind strong. If the problems in your married life are due to faithlessness of your partner, you will be able to forgive your partner. The prayers also help to improve your loving energy. If there is a lack of love in your married life, you will be able to create it with your ability to love. Once you are successful in developing love, other problems can be easily solved.

You may be doubtful about can I really get the benefit from the prayers to save my marriage. When you experience the problems in your marital relationships, it is the time to review your relationship with God. When your relationship with God is strong, it fills your heart with intense love and inner strength.

You may strengthen your relationship with God through prayer through small acts of kindness, serving less privileged members of your community and philanthropic acts. It prevents worsening of your problems and relationship with your partner. Keep aside some time for regularly offering the prayers along with your husband. You may combine the prayers with visualization and give thanks in advance.

Do you face the question of where to get the prayers to save my marriage? You may read the prayers from the religious and spiritual books that are available in numerous book-shops. You can get the information about the prayers from the religious leader. You may offer your prayers at the religious place or at your home. If your partner is not willing, you may find the prayer partner or do it alone.

Build up the emotional and spiritual strength within you and request the God by offering prayers to save my marriage.

Posted by Wan | Filed Under Save Marriage Tips 

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