Unconditional Love – It is Possible

October 2, 2011 | Leave a Comment

Why do you fall in love with your partner? I recalled that I was in love with my spouse because she was attractive and open-minded. As we aged, she became less attractive and sometime I felt that she was forcing me to be more like her and less like me. She was unhappy with lot of thing that I’m doing, such as blogging, and she criticized me for that. I felt disappointed with her, I expected her to support what I’m doing. If I love my spouse conditionally, I would love her less now. However healthy marriage is more important to me than to be hurt by such criticism. Like our health, sometime we catch cold or fever. Something needs to be done to treat those diseases. More on how to love your partner unconditionally [Click Here].

Save A Marriage – Communication Is The Key

May 21, 2011 | Leave a Comment

Every marriage is important so each one deserves a full effort from both parties.  But sometimes a couple will experience trouble and it seems that there is no way to solve the problem without divorce.  If this is happening to you there are ways to save a marriage, but it will take effort on the part of both people.

The important thing to remember here is communication. Often, as couples settle into their marriage, they start to become complacent.  They feel as if there is no further need to put any effort into their relationship.  Both people fall into a routine and life just happens without giving any special attention to it.  This is the main problem with marriage today.

If there has not been a consistent effort from both parties then now is not the time to focus on that: this is more of a survival period.  This is the time that you both need to sit down together and talk.  No arguing, and no finger pointing: just talk.

This is the time to be brutally honest.  Write down everything that you love about the other person.  Make the list as long as you can.  Now, look over the list.  When was the last time that you told the other person how much you love these traits about them?  People love to feel wanted and this would be a good time to start letting the other person know that they are, in fact, wanted.

Ask the other person if there are things you can do to make the marriage better for them. Couples always go out of their way for each other until they marry.  Then, they settle in for the long haul and things start to slip.  Recognizing an area that needs improvement shows that you are genuinely interested in working on it.  Showing effort and concern shows the other person that you do to want to give up and they shouldn’t either.

If communication has broken down too far then do not be afraid to bring in outside help.  Counselors are trained to listen and will not take sides.  And sometimes seeing things from an outside perspective brings clarity to the problem.

Many people want to save a marriage, but they might just feel so frustrated that they think it is too late.  There is always time to start the healing process.  Communication, patience, understanding and love are all important parts that must work together in order to be successful.

How to Get Your Spouse to Change

January 24, 2011 | Leave a Comment

In your quest to save your marriage, you may encounter resistance from your spouse. Your spouse may not care about your efforts to improve the situation and you want to fix him/her. You want your spouse to change. You push them, urge them, nudge them, ask them, scream at them, or beg them; however they seem doesn’t want to change.

Do you really want your spouse to change for the sake of your marriage? If you do, STOP pushing, urging, nudging, asking, screaming, or even begging them. The more you do it, the less likely they will change. If your spouse did change because of those efforts, most probably it will last only for a few days. They will return to their old ways. Why? Because they never really decided to change, they were pressured.

“So, what do I need to do?”

Back-off. You need to get out of the way and create space for your spouse to choose to change. [more……]

Is My Marriage In Trouble?

May 6, 2010 | Leave a Comment

If you are asking yourself the question is my marriage in trouble then it could appear that the answer is yes but this doesn’t mean that it is. It might not be in grave danger of heading to the divorce courts but you are obviously not happy in the relationship if you are thinking this way. This maybe because there are issues between yourself and your partner or it may just be your perception of how things are. You could be feeling unfulfilled and lonely.

Whatever the reason for your feelings you need to get to the bottom of them or your marriage will be affected. It is not possible to have a happy relationship when one or both partners are feeling isolated, unloved or confused. It is not your partner’s responsibility to solve your problems, emotional or otherwise for you, but it does help when they are supportive and understanding.

You may be feeling down because your diet is lacking in certain vitamins and minerals. For example, women of childbearing age need plenty of Vitamin B in their diets as otherwise their hormones can cause them problems. They can suffer from restless sleeping as well as mood swings and depression. Often you don’t get sufficient vitamin B from natural resources so you may need a course of vitamin tablets to get you back on an even keel. Speak to your doctor if you are finding it difficult to sleep, are tired all the time or having difficulty shedding excess weight. You may have an underlying medical condition such as a thyroid problem and so need medical treatment. Men can be affected too.

Your worries may highlight a problem in your relationship. Have you tried talking to your partner about your feelings? It is not the easiest thing to do but once you take the first step you may find that you start to feel better. Communication is not a skill we learn in school or college. It is one of those things that people just assume we learn as we are growing up. Some people are natural communicators but most of us struggle to put our feelings into words particularly when talking to the person who means more to us than anyone else.

In the book The Magic Of Making Up, the writer discusses the problems that communication issues between couples cause. Most marriages end due to bad communication rather than an affair or abuse. And the really sad bit is that a significant number of break ups could have been avoided if one or both partners asked for help.

So don’t sit and wallow in your feelings. Talk to your partner today. Find some quiet time together and tell them how you are feeling and ask them how they feel about things and take it from there. You may find a little bit of good communication and some time together will help to resolve your worries and you will no longer be asking is my marriage in trouble.

7 Effective Tips To Help Save Marriage

January 31, 2010 | Leave a Comment

Statistically speaking, nearly sixty percent of marriages fail. Many couples are looking into ways to avoid becoming that statistic. Although some marriages cannot be fixed, many can.  It takes dedication and determination on the part of both the husband and the wife to help save their marriage, regardless of what the underlying problems are or who is at fault.

The following are some effective tips to help save marriage.  However, for these to work, both the husband and wife must be committed to following these guidelines and work together to solve their differences.

  1. Communicate. This is absolutely essential for making a marriage work and last.  You both must clearly state how you feel, your opinions, your wants and needs to each other.  By discovering what each of you feel is wrong in your marriage, you can work towards a solution.
  2. Keep calm. When you are having problems in your marriage it is easy to get upset. Try to approach your problems with a level head and voice. Being hurtful or disrespectful to your spouse will not help the situation.
  3. Compromise. It takes two in a marriage, so both of your views must be respected. If you give a little, you may get a lot and be happier.
  4. Set goals. Goals give you direction. Make sure to set goals in your marriage that reflect both of your views and determine what you both need to do to get there.
  5. Be patient. It takes time to work on problems in a marriage. Make sure that you are patient with your spouse as well as with yourself as you work towards fixing problems. Rushing to fix things can have an adverse effect.
  6. Forgive and forget. Depending on your situation, this can be difficult, especially if your partner was unfaithful. If you want to save your marriage in spite of their infidelity, you will have to try and forgive them so that you can work together to preserve your marriage. Forgetting about what they have done may not be easy either. If you want to move on, it is essential that you are not dwelling on the past. Focus on the here and now and what you can both can do today to make your marriage better.
  7. Get counseling. If you cannot work out your differences, counseling can help.  A good counselor can help you with guidance, support, encouragement and give you unbiased views that can give you insight on how to correct the problems in your marriage. They can help you find the right solutions and methods based on what is best for you as a couple for the problems that are being faced.


It is very important that you both agree to counseling and intend to take an active role in your sessions for counseling to be an effective tool for help in your marriage. When choosing a counselor, make sure that they are licensed professionals and that you feel comfortable working with them.

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