The Glue That Will Hold You Together

May 16, 2010 | Leave a Comment

If you want a happy marriage, search for the glue that will bind you together.  That is advice given through the generations and like a lot of comments from older people, it is worth listening to.

Every relationship is different, as unique as the two people involved in it. Your mutual attraction, shared memories and lifestyle will help to keep you together and prevent you becoming yet another statistic.  But you cannot afford to just sit back and assume that you will always be happy.  Happy marriages take work. Couples need to realize that they must spend time on their relationship as well as time apart in order to stand the best chance of staying together.

People often make the mistake of putting their kids first all the time.  While your children are important, the relationship between you their parents is equally so. What better example can you set your children than to have them growing up in a home where everyone is valued and their contribution to family life is appreciated.  You want your kids to grow up knowing how to treat other people properly. They learn from example so be sure that the example you are giving them is the one you want them to follow.

In a happy relationship both parties know that the other person will always be there for them.  This doesn’t mean that they will always take their side in an argument but that they will not be abusive or disparaging or disrespectful.   You need to develop good listening skills – God gave us two ears and one mouth for a reason. You need to learn to really listen to your partner and try to appreciate what they are saying to you.  Poor communication does not result in you celebrating forty or fifty years of married bliss.

Spend time together – this seems like an obvious one but if you look back over the last month how much time have you two actually spent alone together.  Staring at the TV screen every evening doesn’t count.  If you have to put a time in the diary but make sure that you spend at least one evening every two weeks together enjoying quality time.

If your intimate relationship needs some work, don’t ignore it.  Mutual attraction and lust played a huge part in you getting together in the first place. It is completely natural for the overwhelming urge to jump on each other to wear off but you should still find each other attractive.  The good news is that the more you make love, the more your body will want it. Making love releases feel good chemicals and thus your body craves these good feelings.  Even if you have to make a huge effort to get into the mood try and soon you may just find that it doesn’t take that much effort anymore!

Finding the right partner to spend the rest of your life with is difficult but it is easy compared to keeping your marriage on the right track. Don’t put your head in the sand.  Read books like The Magic of Making Up and apply some of their teachings.  You want a happy marriage?  Search and apply the techniques that work for other people and you can be as happy as you wish.

Romance And Happiness In This Day And Age

May 27, 2009 | Leave a Comment

I am not a Doctor, a Physiologist nor do I have any degrees or special training in romance and happiness but what I do have is a whole lot of self taught experience on the subject. Like most men, I started life with the belief that romance and sex was the same thing and guaranteed happiness. As I grew older, I learned that this philosophy is the farthest thing from the truth. There is a world of difference between them and in this article I will share with anyone who wants to read it, what romance is and how it can create happiness and how to keep it alive. Keep in mind that this is just an article so it will be the “Readers Digest”, version but I’m sure you will get the basics.

Romance is not only something you read about, see in the movies or on television or dream about, it is a way of life and as such has a language all its own. It is in the things you do and say, in the way you look at someone, touch them and share with them. Unfortunately in today’s fast paced, work harder so we can have more life, simple things like romance get pushed way to the back. For whatever reason making money, buying the newest car or clothes has taken precedent to the warmth and happiness one can experience from a simple touch of a hand.

Happiness can’t be imitated; it is as real as the clouds in the sky or the water that flows down a winding river. It can be felt, touched, sensed and enjoyed. What it can’t be is bought or attained by being ignored. Happiness comes to only those who understand that you have to be happy with yourself before you can have or share real happiness with anyone else. Every morning when we look in the mirror, see the person we are. Not the aesthetics but the inside person, the one we either like or don’t like, the one who makes us who we are and what we don’t like we can change. All any of us has to do is make the first step to change and it will happen.

Romance and happiness is what we all want, long for, desire and can have. The next time you spend time with that special someone instead of being concerned about what we have or what we earn try to share a little of the real person you are or want to be. The next time you come home first instead of chilling out in front of the television or computer, do a load of laundry or surprise that special someone with dinner being cooked or the house being cleaned up. Simple, little things are the real keys to romance and once you figure that out then happiness will be there.

About the Author: Dain Garrett is new to the writing world and being so offers a different perspective to many of the issues faced by so many in today’s world. His writings come from life’s experiences which have given him both many success and failures. It is hoped that the common sense approach the he offers will help some get past the me thing and start to enjoy the we thing.There are many more articles and short stories to come from Dain Garrett, you can read them at and

Happiness: Gratitude Is The Key

May 24, 2009 | Leave a Comment

Have you ever tried to be something you weren’t? Maybe you’ve made an attempt to be happy when you were feeling less than joyful. The results are usually far from what we were hoping to accomplish. In fact, in the case of emotional states and feelings, trying to feel a certain way will often times send us in the opposite direction. Why is that? Perhaps you can remember when you were a child sitting for your school pictures, and the photographer said to you, “Say cheese”. Why didn’t they simply tell you to smile? You already know the answer; when someone makes a request that you smile, it suddenly becomes difficult.

Conversely, when an unhappy parent or teacher glared at you and said, “You better wipe that smile off your face!” not only did the smile become almost impossible to prevent, you may have even started laughing. What’s going on here? Let me ask you, where does your mind go when I say, “Don’t think of Donald Duck!” ….. let me guess, you thought of Donald Duck, right? The same thing happens when we think about not smiling; we have to think of smiling, to know what we’re not supposed to think about.

When we are trying to be happy, what is the implication? It implies that we are currently unhappy, angry, frustrated, or in one of the other countless “negative” states. Therefore, we are generally spending all of our time thinking about the mood, state, or feeling we are trying to get out of…..which simply causes us to access it more fully.

Gratitude is the way out of this mess; when we have immersed ourselves completely in thinking about the things we are thankful for, we aren’t trying to do anything, we are being what is flowing through us in the moment. You can start by thinking about the people in your life you are thankful for; who are the people that when you think about them, your chest feels warm? Did you have to try to feel that when you were thinking about them? If it was someone you are truly thankful for, those feelings were automatic.

Understandably, the list of things you can think of that you are thankful for is endless. The message however, is very brief and concise; Stop trying to feel happy, and simply step into the magic of gratitude. You’ll be amazed at the difference 10 minutes of being thankful each day will do. In fact, I think you’ll be thankful that you’re doing so.

About the Author: Vincent Harris is a professional speaker, author, trainer and consultant. Join our free newsletter today, a $97 value, and get instant access to a free special report