Advice On Love To Save Your Relationship

January 15, 2010 | Leave a Comment

Today we are faced with so many things coming at us from so many directions. With all these stresses in life it’s tough to keep our relationships strong, and if you want to save your relationship, just finding the time to work on it can be a challenge. This article will give you advice on love to save your relationship, it’s aimed at all the overly stressed busy people who still want to make their relationships work.

Here are 3 things you can start doing today to keep your relationship strong, or pull it back from the brink. It’s not so much about how much time you spend together, it’s more about the quality of time that the two of you spend together.  Keep that in mind when going over the list:

  • Figure out what activities that the two of you like to do as a couple. It doesn’t matter if it’s round of golf or a trip to the local movie theater. As long as you can share an experience that is enjoyable, for both of you. When it’s your time, make arrangements for the kids to spend the night at grandma’s, turn off the cell phones and Blackberries, take the phone off the hook, and turn off the t.v. This is about connecting with each other, not just co-existing in the same place at the same time.This is so important for two reasons.  One, it will allow you time to relax and unwind from the stresses of life.  That will help each of you individually and also will allow both of you to bring more to the relationship since you’ll be more relaxed and at ease.  And two, it gives the two of you precious memories that you can relive from time to time with each other.  It’s fun to have shared experiences where you can say ‘remember when we did…’?  That creates a deeper bond between the two of you..
  • So many couples only talk about mundane daily things like asking your spouse if they had a good day,  or if they picked up milk on the way home.  Try to make time each week to really talk.  Don’t turn it into a complaining time, just talk.  Tell your partner about your dreams, relive some fun past times, etc.  Make it a positive time.  Really be willing to talk, and listen, and let each other into your minds a little bit.
  • Try to always remind yourself what it was that first attracted you to your partner.  Was it their laugh, their offbeat sense of humor, their goofy expressions? Whatever it was don’t let yourself forget that.  And while you’re reminding yourself, make sure to let them know too.  If you fell in love with their laugh, tell them, often, that you love the way they laugh.  So much of that positive reinforcement seems to go out the window the longer the relationship goes on.  And that’s a shame.  Everyone wants to feel loved and appreciated, don’t ever let your partner feel like you don’t find that thing you fell in love with attractive anymore.

A loving relationship is one of the best things you can do for yourself.  Many people will tell you that relationships are ‘hard’ and that they ‘take a lot of work’.  I don’t agree.  I believe that if you are with the right person, if you’re both mature adults who really want to make the relationship work, and if you know what to look out for, your relationship can be very easy.  Just use this advice on love to save your relationship as a starting point.

Posted by Wan | Filed Under Relationship Advice 

Love Relationship Advice

January 11, 2010 | Leave a Comment

For most people, it’s pretty easy to find love.  The challenge often seems to be to be able to make it last.  Keeping your love for each other strong is not impossible.  You just have to understand why it falls apart and make sure you, and your partner, avoid those traps.  That’s where love relationship advice comes in handy.

With the advent of online dating sites there are more ways than ever to meet ‘the one’.  It’s a much better method than cruising the bar scene looking for someone special.  For most couples the first few months is pretty easy.  You are falling in love and you think the other person is perfect.  You can see no wrong in them or what they do.  And maybe there isn’t anything wrong with the way they, or you, act in the early stages of a relationship.

They say that familiarity breeds contempt and if that’s true it would go a long way to explaining why the longer a relationship goes on the more it tends to break down.

Here is a list of some of the things you, and your partner, need to be on the lookout for in your relationship.  These are common traps that many couples fall into without realizing it.  If you know what to watch out for and can avoid these mistakes you will have a much better chance of keeping your relationship strong and healthy for a long time:

1. Unrealistic expectations.  As I said above we think our new love can do no wrong.  As our relationship slowly changes from falling in love to being in love and all the day to day stresses and mundane tasks we must face, it’s easy to lose some of that early ‘glow’.  This can be a pivotal time in many relationships, sometimes the couple will think that they just don’t love each other anymore and break up.

In reality, in any long term relationship, you will spend a much longer time in this ‘normal’ mode than you will in the early ‘glow’ mode.  It’s important to recognize that this is all a normal progression in an adult relationship.

2. Inability to effectively communicate.  Men and women express themselves differently…that’s just the way it is.  The good news is that you can learn to communicate with your partner effectively, if you’re willing to take some time to learn how. The whole ‘it’s a guy thing’ or ‘it’s a girl thing’ is only true to a point, and is largely just a cop out.  In reality any mature, intelligent adult should be able to learn how to talk to their partner, and even more importantly, listen to their partner.  The real question is do you care enough about your partner and the relationship to take the time?

3.  Don’t confuse sex with love.  This may sound obvious but men and women tend to look at sex in different ways.  Women, for example, tend to look at sex as a way to connect with someone they love on a deeper physical level.  Yes, it’s pleasurable, but the pleasure isn’t just physical it’s emotional as well.

Men tend to look at sex as definition of who they are as a man.  For them too, it’s pleasurable but it’s also a way to prove their desirability and masculinity.  Sometimes when a relationship gets to the ‘comfortable’ stage this difference in views about sex can create problems.  If one partner doesn’t seem sexually interested in the other partner it can create severe stress on the relationship.

If your relationship gets to this point, it might help if you and your partner can remember that sex is only one small component of every thing your relationship is made up of.  While for many couples, having an active sex life is an important part of the relationship, it’s important to understand that as you age and your relationship grows, it probably won’t be  quite as important as it once was. That doesn’t mean your partner doesn’t love you or find you attractive, it’s just a fairly common way for long term relationships to go.

I hope this love relationship advice will help you hold on to the love you’ve found.  Being able to make a deep, long lasting, connection with another person really is one of life’s blessings.  Make your connection last by learning how to avoid the pitfalls of some relationships.

Posted by Wan | Filed Under Relationship Advice 

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