4 Great Lessons From Relationships Experts

June 30, 2009 | Leave a Comment

If you’ve read or listened to relationships experts, you know that some of what they say is just common sense. They tell us things we already know, but they’re great at putting it into words and examples that make things easier to understand. The best relationships experts just know how to communicate.

They can take those common sense things and say them in a way that makes you “get it.” Like the concept of  what to expect and what to give in a relationship. This is one of the best lessons you can get from relationships experts.

Very often we go along in a relationship and as time goes on we start to take the other person for granted a little bit. We don’t thank them as much, and sometimes we don’t do nice things in return for them quite as much.

It’s not that we don’t want to, but that we simply forget or think there will be time later. After the relationship hit a rocky period and ended and you’ve gotten back together, remember to be thoughtful and kind becomes very important. Relationships experts stress that as a good way to keep a relationship strong.

A second great lesson from the experts is to do what the other person will appreciate. This is another great common sense lesson that’s all too easy to overlook. It applies to anytime during a relationship but after you’ve gotten back together from a break up or other bad patch it’s even more important.

To do what the other person wants doesn’t mean you should never consider yourself. But you should try to do what appeals to them to show them that you care. If it really makes you happy when your boyfriend helps you wash the dishes, then maybe if you helped him with some housework that would make him feel loved, too.

But there may be ways he likes to feel loved that are different. He might be the type of person who likes to hear you say it often, or likes romantic gestures. Even if those things aren’t as important to you, you need to do the things that are special to him.

Sometimes we forget that, or we just assume that everyone responds to the same things. But doing what makes the other person feel most special is easy to do, as long as we remind ourselves to do it.

And a lesson that the experts teach that often goes forgotten is respect. Of course, you respect your boyfriend or girlfriend, but does it always show?  This is part of taking them for granted but goes beyond not thanking them or returning loving gestures.

Often, the person we’re closest to gets the brunt our worst days. We might be late for something and keep them waiting, or we might just accidentally be inconsiderate and not apologize enough. Take a lesson from the relationships experts and ask yourself if you treat your partner with the same respect you would treat a parents or co-worker.

Do You Need Space In A Relationship

June 28, 2009 | Leave a Comment

How much space in a relationship is necessary? The answer depends a lot on the type of relationship it is, and each person in it. Some people do better when they’re together constantly, and others crave more of their own space in a relationship.

The hard part is finding a happy medium that both people are comfortable with. This is made more difficult when you each have very different ideas about togetherness and space. But as long as you can compromise on the level of space in a relationship that you both need, then you can work through this challenge.

Some people don’t like to be alone. They’re much happier spending all their time with coworkers, friends, family and their partner. When they’re alone and doing things on their own they feel a little lost and lonely.

Other people cherish their alone time. Without a little solitude every day they feel burdened and have a hard time relaxing. They feel that they always have to be “up” or “on” for other people when they’re around them, and it can be exhausting.

Those are two extremes, of course. There are also a lot of people who fall somewhere in the middle. They love the time they spend with their partner, but they also want some me-time to balance it out and recharge.

If both of you fall into that happy medium, then defining your space in a relationship should be pretty easy. And if you each fall into the same extreme group, where you both need lots of space or you both dislike being alone, things are made easier, too.

The problems come when one has a very different idea than the other .If you love your solitude and your partner hates being alone, you really need to talk and set some boundaries. Each needs to understand the other’s point of view so you can come up with a compromise that makes you both feel your needs are met.

If you love being alone each day for a while and your partner craves company 24/7, here’s the problem. When you say you need space in a relationship and go off on your own, your partner will feel neglected as if you don’t want to be around because of them.

And if you hate being alone and your partner really wants some me-time, then by hanging around constantly you can start to make your partner feel smothered. Your partner might also think that there’s no trust there, and you won’t give him or her private time because you’re afraid of what he or she might do when you’re not around.

You can see how both of these situations could quickly cause problems in a relationship. But if you talk to each other honestly and openly about how you feel, then when you need time your partner will understand why.

And when he or she hangs around when you’d rather be alone, you recognize that he or she doesn’t need the same kind of space in a relationship that you do.

The Best Spouse Relationships

June 27, 2009 | Leave a Comment

The best spouse relationships are based on love and respect. That goes without saying, doesn’t it? Everyone probably realizes that love and respect are crucial to having a good marriage. But beyond love and respect there are a few things that can help spouse relationships.

Think back to when you were first married. If you’re newly married, think back to when you first met and were dating. How did you treat your partner?  You probably treated your partner with respect, but also with kindness and thoughtfulness.

Unfortunately, it’s common that the longer we know someone, the less kind we tend to be toward them. One would think that the opposite holds true. But we start to take the other person for granted and think they’ll always be there, no matter what.

Think of the last time you went to the bank or grocery store and spoke to the cashier. Maybe you exchanged words with a stranger. How was the tone of your voice and your words? You probably sounded like the sweetest person on the planet. That person might have thought “how polite” when you walked away.

Now think to the words and the tone of the voice you use with your spouse sometimes. When you get angry or you’re unhappy about something, think about how you sound. Would you ever speak that way to a stranger?  If you’re thinking “probably not” then you’ve started taking advantage of your spouse.

People do it with close friends, parents and children, too. If we could record people’s conversations and play them back at a different time, people might be ashamed of how they sounded. And they probably wouldn’t speak that way to someone they didn’t know well for fear of hurting their feelings!

Good spouse relationships are kind ones. Everyone gets angry now and then. And yes, everyone says things he or she regrets in an angry and even hateful tone of voice. But you can keep these instances to a minimum by just thinking about whether you’d talk to your postman or your boss that way.

Thoughtfulness is also an important factor in good spouse relationships. People love their spouses, but it seems the longer they’re together, they less they sometimes show it. Your spouse is one person you should make a point of being thoughtful toward, too.

In the beginning when you’re first dating someone or first married, you might send (or receive) flowers, cards and little surprises. Generally after people are married for a while, these sorts of things slow down or stop. Remembering to be thoughtful and surprise your spouse can help makes yours one of the better spouse relationships.

Try to keep in mind that marriage isn’t written in stone. There really are other opportunities out there for your spouse. Bring back some of the things you did and said when you were trying to win this person. Be kind and thoughtful as much as you can. Those combined with love and respect will make yours one of the enduring spouse relationships.

Relationships And Cheating How To Get Over It

June 25, 2009 | Leave a Comment

Does it seem like relationships and cheating go to together like chocolate and peanut butter? It can start to when everyone you know has had someone cheat on them. And chances are that you’ve had someone cheat on you. Or when it comes to relationships and cheating, you were the one doing the cheating.

Cheating hurts. It hurts the person who’s being cheated on, and believe it or not, it hurts the cheater. The cheater has to hide what he’s doing, probably has to lie to keep it a secret and has to feel the guilt that goes with it.

Even if he or she doesn’t seem guilty, they probably secret feel guilty. When there are relationships and cheating occurs, that doesn’t mean the end of the relationship every time.

You’ve been in a relationship and you’ve been cheated on, and you’ve gotten back together or you’ve never broken up. Can you really make it work now that the other person has cheated? How do you get over it? Will he cheat again?

It’s not easy to save these relationships, and cheating is something that can sometimes happen more than once. But if you can truly rebuild your trust in the other person, then you can stay together and be happy.

Do you know why the person cheated on you? That’s a very important consideration in whether you’ll be able to trust them not to cheat on you again. Were things not good in your relationship at the time, or was it just convenient and just “happened?” You should be able to have a calm discussion about these reasons.

If the reasons turn out to be things like he or she was simply bored that day and the opportunity came along, then you may have problems. If the other person can give no better reasons for hurting you that way, you may want to consider whether you really can forgive them to be happy. It won’t be easy.

If you were having problems, then at least the other person may have thought that the relationship was going to end anyway. They might have felt ignored or undervalued. This is not to give them a good excuse for cheating—they were wrong. But it can help you to understand what they were thinking at the time and you can work on the problems together.

Relationships and cheating are a curious mixture, with some couples able to move on quite well after the devastation of an affair. Sometimes, though, the person who was cheating on can’t get over it. To stay in the relationship when there’s no trust there, and he or she fears that the other will cheat at any time, can be a miserable thing to do.

The constant suspicions can make you miserable, and can make the other person feel under a microscope 24/7. You have to decide to trust the person not to hurt you again, and let go of the fear even though it can be very hard to do in relationships and cheating situations.

Prayers to Save My Marriage

June 23, 2009 | Leave a Comment

According to spiritualism, the prayer is to discover and develop the divinity which can work a lot in every problem of life. It gives you emotional strength to fight with the problems. Can you believe that the prayers can help you to save your married life? Separation or divorce seems to be a simple term, but its effects on both the partners may be long-lasting. You may lose your economical, physical, emotional and social stability.

Divorce is also not good for the sake of the future of your children. Hence, when you feel that your marriage is in crisis and you find yourself helpless, you may start praying the god. You may ask the religious leaders about prayers to save my marriage.

The prayers may be useful to heal the relationships and save the troubled marriage. They can help to overcome the obstacles in your married life. When you come to know that your marriage is in trouble, you get mentally disturbed and terrified. Your life becomes stressful and you may feel helpless, lonely and frustrated. To cope up with this situation, you should be able to control your emotions and face the problem with great tolerance and patience. You will be able to overcome the stress and live peacefully with the help of prayers.

The prayers may help to improve your virtue of forgiveness and make your mind strong. If the problems in your married life are due to faithlessness of your partner, you will be able to forgive your partner. The prayers also help to improve your loving energy. If there is a lack of love in your married life, you will be able to create it with your ability to love. Once you are successful in developing love, other problems can be easily solved.

You may be doubtful about can I really get the benefit from the prayers to save my marriage. When you experience the problems in your marital relationships, it is the time to review your relationship with God. When your relationship with God is strong, it fills your heart with intense love and inner strength.

You may strengthen your relationship with God through prayer through small acts of kindness, serving less privileged members of your community and philanthropic acts. It prevents worsening of your problems and relationship with your partner. Keep aside some time for regularly offering the prayers along with your husband. You may combine the prayers with visualization and give thanks in advance.

Do you face the question of where to get the prayers to save my marriage? You may read the prayers from the religious and spiritual books that are available in numerous book-shops. You can get the information about the prayers from the religious leader. You may offer your prayers at the religious place or at your home. If your partner is not willing, you may find the prayer partner or do it alone.

Build up the emotional and spiritual strength within you and request the God by offering prayers to save my marriage.

Next Page »