Is Love and Romance Still in the Air?

May 20, 2009 | Leave a Comment

Valentine’s Day is long over. How about your love and romance? Are they still in the air?

To most people, romance only happened occasionally and under extraordinary circumstances, e.g. on Valentine’s Day, exotic trip, wedding anniversary, etc.

My wife said that I’m not romantic. It occurred to me that she was making me wrong and I don’t want to argue about it. If giving flowers and having candle light dinner on those special days what romance is all about, then romance to me is a waste of money and time. Nevertheless, as a commitment to experience romance, I took my wife out for a dinner at a hotel (it was not the first time I took her out for dinner). In order to have a romantic atmosphere, we leave the kid at home. I enjoyed the dinner but I don’t feel the romance.

I asked my wife what romance mean to her. She said romance is about expressing and showing someone that you love her, you care for her and she means everything to you. It’s a totally different view and I didn’t know that until I asked her. Wow! I can be romantic everyday in my life, no sweat.

According to Webster Dictionary, romance is a fictitious tale of wonderful and extraordinary events characterized by much imagination and idealization.

Thus I don’t have to wait for Valentine’s Day or special occasion to show up to be and feel romantic. I can create romance every day in my life and I was not expected to give flowers or taking my spouse out for a candle light dinner.

In the nutshell, romance is made up and is not a function of circumstance. Romance is a function of creation and a way of being. Taking a stroll in the park together and talking about ourselves and how much we mean to each other (not about our kids, works and gossiping) can be a romantic moment. Paddling the paddle boat together in the lake garden can be a romantic moment for us as well.

Are you a romantic person? If you’re not, now you can be one.

Get Your Husband Back – 5 Helpful Tips

May 17, 2009 | Leave a Comment

“I want my husband back” is the cries of many women who have seen their marriage start to crumble. Often it happens quietly and slowly and before you know it the marriage looks like it is coming to an end. If you aren’t willing to let your marriage die, if you aren’t willing to let it fall apart right before your very eyes, then do something about it. Here are some tips that can help you get your husband back.

1. Realize that it wasn’t just you and it wasn’t just him. It was the both of you. If you are willing to make changes in the way you approach the marriage, your husband might be willing to. Some of it comes down to the way you look at the situation.
2. Realize that it wasn’t all one person who is at fault. “It takes two to tango” the saying goes. The same thing is true in any relationship. It isn’t just one person that makes it work and it isn’t just one person that causes it to fall apart. Don’t put all of the weight on your shoulders and don’t put it all on your husband’s. Pull your weight and encourage him by example to pull his own in trying to make things right.
3. Start with where you are in life and see where you are in life. Look at what it is that makes you happy and drives you. Look for the same thing with your husband. Try to find common ground. If there is love there, you will find that common ground.
4. Once you have found that common ground, try to find some way to use that to your advantage. If there is something that brings the two of you joy, try to find some way for the two of you to experience it together. Let it seem like a spontaneous thought and try to make it seem like it is his idea. Try and generate some excitement about it. Don’t go over board with the excitement, though.
5. When you are doing the things that the both of you love, let him know how special you think he is and how much you appreciate him. Let him know that you miss what you used to have. Let him know how you feel. It is easier to have those feelings reciprocated when you are both having fun doing something you love. Don’t be afraid to tell him, “I want my husband back.” You may just find out he wants the same thing.

You have to know that it may not be possible to get back the relationship to the level it was when it was at its peak. You should believe, though, that what you saw as the high point of your relationship doesn’t have to be the all time high point. The best in life is still to come if you are willing to do the work that you need to do. Tell yourself, “I want my husband back, I want the relationship back stronger than ever” and then work to make it happen.

Do You Still Have Romance In Your Life?

May 11, 2009 | Leave a Comment

Do You Still Have Romance In Your Life? If your answer to the question is yes, that’s great. I believe you are living a wonderful life. If the answer is no, please don’t be hard on your self. Nothing wrong about not being romantic, it is just the way it is.

In many part of the world, not being romantic are normal among elderly couples. Allow me to share a story about an elderly couple, who happen to be my friends.

Nancy, a 50 year-old secretary could not have asked for a better New Year gift. Nancy’s New Year resolution was to recreate romantic moments with her 60 year-old husband, Raymond.

On the New Year eve, after finishing shopping, Nancy asked Raymond to join her for coffee at Starbucks. Nancy ordered two tall Cappuccino and two blueberry cheese muffins.

“How much you pay the coffee and the muffins?” Raymond asked with a sniff.

“RM19 for the coffee and RM11.20 for the muffins.”

“What? You must be joking,” Raymond said with a tone that can break an argument.

“That goes my romance,” Nancy said to herself.

The next weekend, Nancy tried to have a romantic moment with her husband one more time. They were having their coffee at the same Starbucks outlet,

“What is romance to you?” Nancy tried to understand her husband.

“It was long gone,” Raymond answered in a low voice.

“For me, it is now. At this very moment, having coffee with you and talking about ourselves,” Nancy shared what she got after going beyond strategizing for love.

Nancy’s sharing opened up something for Raymond. He shared that he enjoys watching beautiful orchid and other rare species. He also loves beautiful sceneries. He said that it will be a romantic moment for him to do these things together with his better half.

Nancy was touched with her husband sharing. She realized that it was her who killed off her own romance the other weekend. She expected her husband to appreciate her for buying him coffee and muffin. She was making him wrong when he did not do what she expected him to do and the sky fell down. When she gave up her expectation and take responsibility to create what she wanted, she got the romance.

To Nancy, I acknowledge you for sharing your world with my wife and me. I also acknowledge both of you for your commitment to live life passionately and romantically. You have touched and inspired my wife and me to create romance in our life, any moment that we want. For me this is the happiest moment in my life, the moment that I realized that romance does not depends on extraordinary circumstances to happen such as Valentine’s Day or Anniversary. I’m now present to a notion that romance is a function of creation and a way of being. Thank you again for sharing with us.

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