Flirting With Your Spouse

December 13, 2008 | Leave a Comment

Hey friends, festival season is approaching fast. That means you will get some holidays to spend with your family. If you want to bring the romance and fire back in your marriage, we are giving you a number of ways to enjoy your marriage even after five or more of your marital relationship. Whether people go for arranged or love marriage, after some years of marriage they start having a monotonous feeling in their marriage. It might be possible that there are so many responsibilities on your shoulders; you are unable to spend quality time with your spouse. But it is not important to spend a lot of time together. What is important is to make effective use of the limited time that you can find.

If you or spouse does not have enough time to share with each other, you can try flirting with each other to bring spark in your marital bond. Flirting with your husband does not mean that you have to spend time in bed to improve your relationship. We know many of you get little time with each other because of your professional liabilities. But flirting means showing affection to your partner by loving gestures and talks. It is a great way to re-infuse romance into your lives.

You are going to attend some party, but you want your husband to stay at home with you. It can be made possible through flirting. Though you may not realize it, you have an inherent power within you to make him obey you merely with your sight. Just deeply stare into the eyes of your spouse for some time, lick your lips and look away. Repeat it for some time and after about 15 minutes only, you will find your husband kissing you blindly. He will definitely forget about the party or meeting his friends.

After some years of your marriage, your man is now a very professional person and might not be able to pay attention to you. It is harmless on your part to make the first move; after all it is the question of saving your marriage. No matter if he is physically absent, you can flirt with him with your enchanted sound. Yes, after the powerful sight, he will recognize you with the strength of your voice. You can call him in his office and let him know again and again that you miss him endlessly. Give him as much compliments as you can because men are no different from women. They love to hear compliments and loving notes. If you are little shy in conveying your feelings there is an additional option for you. Either you can record a cassette in your voice or choose a romantic audio tape and insert it in the music system of your husband’s car. While going to office, when he hears your surprise gift, he would definitely be bound to come home early in the evening.

Some other ways to get flirty with your husband is to be active while making physical contact. Men do not like dummies in the bed and to refresh your relationship you have to be like his companion rather than some rubber doll. Show him your care and love with little gifts. Place them in the most exceptional places so when he gets them, they will give him more joy and happiness. With these few flirty steps, we are sure you will able boost your love relationship with your spouse.

About the Author: Gabriel L is a coach who specializes in helping singles and couples to discover their problems and to improve their love life. He is also an expert in internet dating strategies. For helpful hints and advices on dating and relationships, you can visit his website at: http://www.onlinedatingcode.com.

Posted by Wan | Filed Under Relationship Advice 

Get Romance Back in Your Marriage

December 9, 2008 | Leave a Comment

Romance is important for your marriage. Lack of romance can drive you nuts. There are people who might take exception to this and say that romance isn’t the important if you really love each other. Romance is more than just affection and intercourse, and when there is no romance, so did the touching, kissing, hugging and other forms of affection. People dry up without affection, they dry up like prunes.

Here is the list of things you can do to re-kindle your romance and put the spark back in your marriage:

  • Leave love notes: Leave love notes around the house for other person to find. You could do that with lipstick on the bathroom mirror, sticky notes all over the house, spelled out in rose petals on the bed, with magnetic poetry magnets on the refrigerator, leave a love message on the answering machine, create a ‘message in a bottle’, bake a cake and leave a message in the frosting, on the back of the cereal box, put it on other person’s shoes, on the steamy shower door, in their wallet.
  • Separate work with romance: Work covers major part of our day, but you should keep the work life separate from your romance life. No more boring details about your project from work.
  • Learn to accept: There will always be some disagreement between you and your partner. There will be time when you disagree with what your partner says or does in public. Instead of belittling your partner in public learn to accept their views in public. If you genuinely don’t like anything then discuss it in private.
  • Dance together: Dancing as a couple can do three things. It will bring the couple closer, it can be something which both the parties can enjoy and at the same time benefit your health. Dancing also helps improve balance and flexibility, keep bones strong and can chemically lift your mood.
  • Cut your power: Fake a power outage. Unplug the phone, computer, TV, fax machines, turn off the lights, and even turn off the cell phone. With nothing else to distract, you have no choice but break out the candles and cling to each other as you tell scary ghost stories or just plain cling to each other.
  • Date together: Being a stay at home parent and devoting your life to your children doesn’t mean your marriage should take a back seat. Scheduling regular date nights will recharge your marriage. Set a regular date night and stick to it. Think beyond dinner in a restaurant and try to have some fun. Arrange for a babysitter so that your night should be stress free and not worried about your children.
  • Show Gratitude: Gratitude is something that is often overlooked in the day to day living of a marriage. Saying thank you shows that you recognize and appreciate the things that your spouse does for you weather it be large like going to work every day or small like packing your spouse’s lunch.
  • Listen to your spouse: Do you listen to your spouse? Hopefully your answer is “yes, of course, I always listen to my spouse.” But would your spouse agree? Ask him or her and listen to the answer. If the answer to the question is “no” or “sometimes”, then you have to work on this.
  • Say “I love you” to each other: It is important in any relationship to tell a person that you love them. It may not always be easy to do, but definitely can improve a relationship and make it stronger. There are tons of different ways that you can say I love you to your spouse. It just takes some creativeness and thinking on your part.
  • Buy a gift: Is there anything your spouse have been eyeing but not buying? Buy that for your spouse and present it as a gift. It doesn’t have to be something expensive but a token that means something to the pair of you.
  • Use laughter for bonding: Watching comedy on TV with the spouse, sharing a joke or looking at old photos is a great way to get more laughter in your life. Humor is good for your health and laughing together is a good for a better bonding.
  • Surprise your spouse: Romance needs work and play. Surprising your spouse will bring a smile to your spouse’s face and a little extra strength to your relationship.
  • Kiss your spouse: This is the most intimate thing you can do with your clothes on and will help to maintain and build up the romantic bond between you as a couple.
  • Make love more often: The more time you spend together in the bedroom, the better it will be for your relationship.

Contributed By: Junaid Mohammad is an expert on Romance and author of this article and runs the resource site http://www.romanceworldinfo.com/ which features information about  Online Romance.

Posted by Wan | Filed Under Save Marriage Tips 

Quieting the Mind – As a Way to Resolve Conflict in Relationships

December 5, 2008 | Leave a Comment

I noticed that most of my interactions with others are confined to exchange of words. I find it so uncomfortable to be with someone without saying a word. I would blink my eyes, scratch my head, look left, smile and other any other action just to make myself feel comfortable. If I keep still and not doing anything, I tend to judge the person or thinking what that person thinks about me. In other words, if I not doing anything my mind will wandering around.

  • What I’m going to talk about?
  • Why she’s looking at me that way?
  • I think she can’t be trusted
  • Why she does not say a word?
  • What she think about me?

A still and quiet mind can make you less reactive to the “problem” of life and it will give you inner peace. I reckoned still and quiet mind will give a tremendous boost to my relationship with others. I started practising quieting the mind with my wife. We look at each other in the eye and say nothing. It wasn’t easy when we first started. There were a lot of noises in our mind. We tend to do things to cover up being uncomfortable. However, it becomes easy and easier over time. Now we are comfortable being in stillness together. With stillness, comes the sense of spaciousness, spaces that we can fill with anything.

The relationship which is dominated by the noisy mind can easily be taken over by problems and conflict.

Posted by Wan | Filed Under Relationship Tips 

How To Find A Marriage Therapist: Questions You Should Ask

December 2, 2008 | Leave a Comment

If you have read my ebook, Save The Marriage, you know that I have some major reservations about marital therapy. Studies have shown almost 50% of couples in therapy end up divorced. Only 10 to 20% of couples who go to therapy see any significant help from counseling. This is a major indictment on therapy, and one that has not been addressed!

The problem is not that there aren’t skilled marital therapists. The problem is there are too many therapists offering marital therapy that should not. If you decide to use a therapist to help you heal your relationship, you should be careful. Don’t go in unprepared. Many people spend less time choosing a therapist than choosing someone to fix their roof!

There are some questions I think you should ask of any therapist. If you are wondering why, I have a whole chapter on the problem with therapists in my ebook. So, here, I will focus on the questions you may want to ask:

* “Do you have specialized training in marriage counseling?” You’d be amazed on how many therapists see couples, but have never been trained to do so. The vast majority of therapists are trained in individual therapy models. Many ideas in individual therapy models are destructive in marital therapy.

* “How much of your work is with couples?” Someone who spends a great deal of time with couples is likely to be better at it than someone who sees a few couples each week. Therapists tend to spend their time with the type of clients with whom they are comfortable and successful. However, therapists are also likely to see clients they are less comfortable with, but who help pay the bills (that’s not cynicism, just reality).

* “When working with a couple, do you see us together or separately?” I don’t see this as an absolute, but I think the vast majority of sessions should be with both of the spouses together. Sometimes, it is useful to see one or the other to help get past a block. However, there are a couple of risks of spending too much time with one or the other: First, therapists are humans; like it or not, they will be swayed by the views of whomever they spend the most time. Second, one or the other may perceive a coalition, even if it is not there. And third, if a therapist hears something that one cannot say to the other, then the therapist is in a difficult position: keeping a secret or violating something said in confidence.

* “Who is your client when you are seeing a couple?” Correct answer: the relationship (or some very similar answer). Any other answer indicates that the individual(s) will be the client. This is a problem. The question of who the client is creates the frame for what will be addressed and what will be preserved. So, if the individual is the client, the client’s happiness will be of paramount importance. If the relationship is the client, then success is based on the success of the relationship.

* “How successful are you in helping couples stay together?” They probably won’t have the statistics, but they will give you some information that is helpful. For example, they will begin to tell you their definition of success: helping people divorce with minimal damage (not a good answer), helping each find happiness (not a good answer), I hang in there until we get somewhere in the relationship (a good answer), etc. You want to hear something about success being defined as couples staying together, relationships saved.

* “When do you tell a couple to call it quits?” There shouldn’t be many reasons to call it quits, on the therapist’s part. If they answer “affair” or “when the other wants a divorce,” keep moving. In my opinion, if the couple comes to my office, they are there to save the relationship. Barring abuse in the relationship, I opt to stick it out until the couple decides they will not continue.

As you can tell, you are looking for someone who will be an ally of the marriage. You want someone who is willing to be straight with both of you, and one that will keep pushing you to move toward health. You also want someone who has been down that road with many couples before, and someone who has been trained to walk that path.

Choose carefully. Often, the therapist holds a fragile relationship in the palm of his or her hand. Mistakes can destroy a relationship that may have otherwise survived. A good therapist is an asset. A bad therapist is destructive.

About the Author: Premiere relationship advice! Discover how to move your relationship from stalemate to soulmate with the best-selling ebook, Save The Marriage, available exclusively from http://savemarriagesite.com/go/savethemarriage.html . Find out how to save a marriage, even if only YOU want to!

Posted by Wan | Filed Under Marriage Counseling 

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