Saving Your Marriage through Counseling

November 23, 2008 | Leave a Comment

Is your marriage in trouble and you are looking for a counselor? What is counseling going to do for your relationship? Is it going to help save your marriage, or is it going to be another counseling horror story? How do you know when your marriage is at the stage where counseling is required?

Often couples are too slow to recognize they need counseling to help them save their marriage. By the time they realized, it’s already too late. Counseling, when undertaken in time, really does save marriages. Not only that, it can make marriages healthier than before and make the couples happier than they have ever been. But many couples hesitate when it comes to counseling and wait too long. Many feel that it’s like admitting failure. Others are suspicious of psychology or behavioral therapy. Most people have some kind of preconceived notion about counseling, and some are really detrimental to the process as a tool for saving the marriage.

Marriage counseling actually offers couples a chance to talk about the origin of their problems in a safe and moderated environment. It’s an environment that is controlled by a trained councilor who is committed to resolving issues and improving communication. When both partners are committed to this result, counseling can be extraordinarily powerful and bring your marriage back from the brink of disaster.

So, when the best time to get counseling? Surely it is not when divorce seems an immediately viable option. The time to get counseling is when issues begin to come up again and again without resolution, and when communication begins to break down. Counseling really can save marriages, but only with a strong commitment from both partners.  If you recognize that you are at a point in your relationship in which you need to seek counseling, do a little research about psychologists and therapists in your area.

Looking for marriage counseling? Get great marriage-saving tips and advice in Save My Marriage Today Free newsletter series. When you arrive at the site, scroll down for the sign-up form.

Change Yourself, You’ll Save Your Marriage

November 7, 2008 | Leave a Comment

Sound impossible? Do you think that you are not the one “with the problem”? You may be right. Your spouse is the one “with the problem”. She/he needs to change to save your marriage and you don’t have to do anything. Consider this; changing yourself is the only way to save your marriage. Do you really want to save your marriage? If your answer is yes, you need to change yourself. There is no other way to save your marriage. Trick, manipulating or trying to change your partner won’t work. Or you rather want your marriage to deteriorate so that you can blame your spouse for it? The need to be right is one of the 25 relationship killers. You are right that your spouse don’t listen to you. You are right that your spouse always blame or criticize you, and many other things that you are right about your spouse. Whether you want to defend your right to be right and have a broken marriage as a result, or give up the right to be right and save your marriage is up to you. The choice is yours.

Let me share an example from Save My Marriage Today FREE Mini-Course so that you can grasp fully what I wanted to put forward. Mary’s husband always promises to bring home the groceries that she needs but always forgets to do so. For Mary, this is inexcusable. She lashes out at her husband every time he comes home empty-handed. Her response or behavior drives her husband away further and further each time. She blames or criticizes the husband for not bringing home the groceries and she had to go out herself to get it. She is right that her husband always break his promises. She is right that because of her husband failure to keep his promises, they always have late dinner. If Mary keeps blaming or criticizing her husband, sooner or later their marriage will be broken. Mary can change how she response to the “problem”, that is by giving up the right to be right. When she stops blaming or criticizing the husband, he realizes that not having the groceries does indeed inconvenience for Mary. As a result, her husband eventually asks her what they could do so that one of them doesn’t have to get the groceries during the week. He confesses that he doesn’t get the groceries because he is tired after work and hates having to make a detour to the store. As a result, Mary and her husband decide to plan better and spend a bit more time on their weekend shopping trip so that they don’t run out of food mid-week.

What Mary did was not asking or demanding her husband to change himself (keep his words). What she did was to change her respond or behavior with regard to her husband didn’t keep his words. When he is not been blamed (with word or action), his ego was untouched. As a result, he can be his real self.

You can read more on relationship killers from Save My Marriage Today FREE Mini-Course. Visit the website today and signup for FREE Mini-Course. You’ll be astounded with the advices given in the course.

« Previous Page