What Will You Do to Get Your Ex Back?

October 30, 2008 | Leave a Comment

What do you think people normally do to get their ex back? Studies show that some of the common things that people do to get their ex back are:

  • Apologizing and swearing that things will be different from now on
  • Telling her/him that you love her/him and she or he will always be the only woman/man for you
  • Giving your ex reassurance that you have changed so both of you should try again
  • Persuading her/him to have a conversation with you about giving the relationship another chance
  • Using money, kids, jealousy, or some other kind of manipulative leverage to “force” her/him to come back

Sad to say, the above ploys, tricks or any form of manipulation and persuasion that people do to win their ex back can actually pushed her/him away, rather than getting her/him back. It’s natural, the time after a breakup is an emotional time and one tend to act based on emotion and made those crucial mistakes.

Thus if you recently broken up with your true love, it’s crucial for you to know the common mistakes people make following a breakup and refrain yourself from doing it.

Annalyn Caras, author of Win Back Love, discussed about 10 common mistakes that people normally do in their quest to get their ex back. She also shows how you can avoid doing the same mistakes and damaging your chances of getting back together with your ex. Visit her website through this link: http://savemarriagesite.com/go/winbacklove.html

The Turning Point in My Relationship

October 21, 2008 | Leave a Comment

Let me share with you about the turning point in the relationship I’m having with my wife.

I felt the strain in our relationship when our first child, a daughter, was 7 years old. Everyday my wife bombarded me with the problems she was having in raising her up. She was not happy with our daughter behavior and she blamed me for that. She said our daughter behaving that way because I always pampered her. The bombardment, the nagging, continues until she was 19 years old. Then my wife saw something, she saw what causing her to complaint and nags about our daughter day in day out. It was the expectation she had about her, the standard and ideal of a good daughter. She expected her to be a hardworking girl and excel in her studies. But the daughter was playful and did not get good grade. She also saw that she put meaning to what happened; she put the meaning that she was not a good mother. That made her upset and angry.

When she saw that, and the impact it had on our relationship, she gave it up. From that moment she was able to accept our daughter the way she is and the way she is not. Then the nagging stops. OK, not 100%. Sometime she nags but she quickly realized it and stops. Our conversation after that was not about “what’s wrong with your daughter?” but what we, as parents, can do to support her to do well in her study and live a happy life. Amazing thing happened after that, she scores A in her final year college examination.

That was the turning point in my wife relationship with our eldest daughter. My wife saw our daughter differently although she has not change. Wow!!! I felt very happy and relief. I never thought it was possible after more than 12 years of suffering. Anyway, you don’t have to wait for your partner to change to have an awesome, long-lasting and fulfilling relationship with your partner. You can change your view of her/him, accept her/him the way she/he is and she/he is not. You’ll be amazed with the results.

My wife may not see what she saw if not for the education (and God’s guidance) that she got from Landmark Education. You can visit Landmark Education’s website for details (This is not an affiliate link; I don’t get any financial reward for giving you the link).

You also can get insights to save your marriage from Amy Waterman’s book, Save My Marriage Today. You can read my review on Save My Marriage Today HERE. Or you can visit Amy’s website HERE to learn more.

Win Back Your Lost Love

October 18, 2008 | Leave a Comment

I stumbled upon a free resource on winning love back and found it to be a very useful win back love guide. The mini ebook was written by Katie, the author of Win Back Your Lost Love. Basically what Katie teaches in the ebook can be divided into 3 sections:

  • The common mistakes that people make when trying to win back love.
  • What went wrong in the first place? You can’t fix the problem if you don’t know what it is.
  • 4-step action plan to attract lover back.

One of the 5 mistakes that people make as discussed by Katie was “playing victim”. It is obvious that playing victim won’t work in winning love back. The sad thing is that common people are not aware that they are playing victim. What they didn’t see probably are:

  • They want to make their ex wrong for living them.
  • Justify that their ex are jerks.
  • Dominate people around them or win their sympathy.

You can learn more from the book. I don’t have the distribution right to ebook, but you can download it free from Katie’s website. http://www.truelovereturns.com

She Answered My Question with Question

October 14, 2008 | Leave a Comment

There are no two person can be reasonably expected to agree on everything. There bound to be some differences, it can be in opinions or preferences. It can be considered silly if we are not been able to recognize this as a fact of life. Failure to deal with differences can quickly spell disaster in a relationship especially marriage. Honestly, I made a lot of sins in this area of life.

In the past, I never like the way my spouse answer my question and I always criticized her about it. As far as I can remember, she never fails to answer my question with question. Let me give you a couple of examples to illustrate my points:

Q: Have you prepared the dinner?
A: Don’t you know that I’m tired?

Q: Do you like to follow me to the city?
A: Why didn’t you ask me earlier?

I criticized her for not answering the questions, she lashed back in defense, and chaos ensues. But those were in the past. Not that she has change but I have learnt to accept her the way she is not. She is not the type that answer question with an answer. She is still the same but the way I reacted has changed. This is how I answer her back in a similar situation:

Situation 1

Q: Have you prepared the dinner?
A: Don’t you know that I’m tired?

New Response: OK. I got that you didn’t prepare the dinner. So what do you like me to buy for dinner?

Situation 2

Q: Do you like to follow me to the city?
A: Why didn’t you ask me earlier?

New response: I’m leaving in half an hour. I think you’ll be ready by then.

Last time I wanted to dominate her and she was avoiding being blame. I gave that up and tried to understand her. She had a past that she had not put back into the past. She keeps telling me the story that, when she was a teenager, she had asked her father to send her friend back. He agreed to send the friend back, but on the way back he continuously scolded her for making him like a driver.  At that moment she made a decision, which she didn’t realize, that no one going to blame her again.  This past keep affecting the way she responded to a new situation which she perceived as similar to the past (Situation 1 -blame for being lazy; Situation 2 – blame for being late). I have a past too. When I was a teenager, I asked a lot of questions to my parent and grandparents. But sadly, no one seemed to bother to answer my questions. I think you know what decision I made at that time.

If you like to know, poor communication is the single biggest reason couples break up. Creating an environment of positive and loving communication is the key to life-long and happy marriage. There’s much more to learn. In Save My Marriage Today, Amy Waterman explains much more about effective communication for couples and conflict resolution. Check it out.

7 Innovative Ways To Save Your Marriage

October 12, 2008 | Leave a Comment

Are you in a tough spot in your marriage right now? Every relationship has its problems and its rough patches, but that doesn’t mean that you need to give up when the going gets tough. For many couples, they can actually work through their problems to create a stronger relationship. Sometimes the hard times are actually learning lessons in disguise. Here are just a few tips for getting started on the right foot.

Listen

There’s nothing more damaging to a relationship than a partner that doesn’t take the time to listen. In fact, that fact alone might be the thing that has led to the feelings of dissatisfaction with a marriage. In order to be a good partner (on either end), you need to be able to remain quiet and talk through problems until both partners are satisfied. Be quiet when they are speaking and try to really listen to what they are saying.

Understand

But listening only goes so far when you’re trying to work out problems in you relationship. If you do not really understand where they are coming from, you might be creating more problems. When they are expressing themselves, you want to ask questions when appropriate in order to clarify what they are saying to you. Even if it seems uncomfortable at first, it’s important that you make sure that you understand where they are at and how you might be able to help.

A positive attitude

Why start off a rough patch by thinking that it will never get any better no matter what you do? When you’re trying to work through problems and issues, you will want to make sure that you’re going into it with a positive attitude. You don’t need to be sugary sweet, but you should start to look at your troubles as learning lessons rather than the doom of the relationship. Try to think about happier times when you start to become negative in order to turn your thinking around.

Be present

When a partner isn’t fully in the moment of trying to fix a relationship, the work becomes a one-sided affair. You need to be able to fully be there for your partner when you need to work through tough times. This might mean that you need to take a few days off work or devote certain times to discussing ways to fix your relationship. These times should be uninterrupted by work obligations or time commitments so that neither person feels rushed or distracted.

Stay calm

While you might be upset about the way that things have turned out, you need to remember that being calm is the best way to see things more clearly. Try lowering your voice when you talk – it automatically lowers your blood pressure and your anger. Try to take a few deep breaths before you say anything – this will help you to be clear and calm as you speak. Many people perceive becoming flustered or upset as being angry, and that can lead to a poor environment for working through issues.

Make plans

One of the best ways to help save your marriage is to start creating long term plans with your partner. While this might not seem like the best idea at the time, it will create the idea that you are both going to make it through the rough patch that you have stumbled upon – somehow. Try to make plans for vacations or other far in the future appointments. This will create a little less pressure because the future isn’t so vague and unable to be seen in the dark that you are experiencing at the time.

Take time away

While you don’t have to become legally separated to do this, taking time away from each other is one of the best ways to stop a marriage from becoming a divorced marriage. When you take time away from each other, you allow yourself to have a new perspective on the events that are happening. And this can allow you to see new solutions as well as new ideas for how to handle the problems that you may be having. Even if it’s just a night or a few hours, taking time to step back from an issue can help it become easier to resolve.

About the Author: Discover how you can easily bring back the Love of Your Life! http://savemarriagesite.com/go/bringbacklove.html The Good News Is It Works For Both Men & Women! More underground relationship and love tips, FREE special reports available Here. http://savemarriagesite.com/go/bringbacklove.html

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