Effective Ways To Save Marriage

To many people, marriage is the best thing that ever happens to them. It’s like a fairy tale come true, coupled with the ever famous “And they lived happily ever after” line. However most of them did not realized that marriage is the most difficult partnership ever conceived. There are a lot of challenges in a married life; life is not the same as when both of the partners were still single. It totally a different world and the partners need to have the knowledge on how to live a life as married couples, if not they are going to have a tough time. However all is not lost. There are ways to avoid the pitfalls of a married life. Some simple and effective ways to save marriage is discussed in my e-book titled “Happiness In a Flash: How to Instantly Put a Troubled Marriage Back on the Right Track”. Go and download the e-book for free at: http://www.savemarriagesite.com/happiness/

Unconditional Love – It is Possible

Why do you fall in love with your partner? I recalled that I was in love with my spouse because she was attractive and open-minded. As we aged, she became less attractive and sometime I felt that she was forcing me to be more like her and less like me. She was unhappy with lot of thing that I’m doing, such as blogging, and she criticized me for that. I felt disappointed with her, I expected her to support what I’m doing. If I love my spouse conditionally, I would love her less now. However healthy marriage is more important to me than to be hurt by such criticism. Like our health, sometime we catch cold or fever. Something needs to be done to treat those diseases. More on how to love your partner unconditionally [Click Here].

Save A Marriage – Communication Is The Key

Every marriage is important so each one deserves a full effort from both parties.  But sometimes a couple will experience trouble and it seems that there is no way to solve the problem without divorce.  If this is happening to you there are ways to save a marriage, but it will take effort on the part of both people.

The important thing to remember here is communication. Often, as couples settle into their marriage, they start to become complacent.  They feel as if there is no further need to put any effort into their relationship.  Both people fall into a routine and life just happens without giving any special attention to it.  This is the main problem with marriage today.

If there has not been a consistent effort from both parties then now is not the time to focus on that: this is more of a survival period.  This is the time that you both need to sit down together and talk.  No arguing, and no finger pointing: just talk.

This is the time to be brutally honest.  Write down everything that you love about the other person.  Make the list as long as you can.  Now, look over the list.  When was the last time that you told the other person how much you love these traits about them?  People love to feel wanted and this would be a good time to start letting the other person know that they are, in fact, wanted.

Ask the other person if there are things you can do to make the marriage better for them. Couples always go out of their way for each other until they marry.  Then, they settle in for the long haul and things start to slip.  Recognizing an area that needs improvement shows that you are genuinely interested in working on it.  Showing effort and concern shows the other person that you do to want to give up and they shouldn’t either.

If communication has broken down too far then do not be afraid to bring in outside help.  Counselors are trained to listen and will not take sides.  And sometimes seeing things from an outside perspective brings clarity to the problem.

Many people want to save a marriage, but they might just feel so frustrated that they think it is too late.  There is always time to start the healing process.  Communication, patience, understanding and love are all important parts that must work together in order to be successful.

How to Get Your Spouse to Change

In your quest to save your marriage, you may encounter resistance from your spouse. Your spouse may not care about your efforts to improve the situation and you want to fix him/her. You want your spouse to change. You push them, urge them, nudge them, ask them, scream at them, or beg them; however they seem doesn’t want to change.

Do you really want your spouse to change for the sake of your marriage? If you do, STOP pushing, urging, nudging, asking, screaming, or even begging them. The more you do it, the less likely they will change. If your spouse did change because of those efforts, most probably it will last only for a few days. They will return to their old ways. Why? Because they never really decided to change, they were pressured.

“So, what do I need to do?”

Back-off. You need to get out of the way and create space for your spouse to choose to change. [more……]

Is Your Marriage Crushing You Like A Grape?

Have you ever been to a winery?

Can you imagine what it would be like to be one of those grapes? Really…play along with me here for a moment.

Can you imagine what it would be like to be plucked, pushed, crushed, pressed, skinned, and fermented? OUCH! The pain! What’s the point of it all?

A lot of people feel that way about the pain they experience in their marriage. “Why am I doing this? Where is this relationship going?”

But just as a grape goes through a difficult process before it becomes a fine wine, sometimes our marriage has to go through a painful process before it matures.

The people who have the best marriages are NOT people who grew up well-adjusted, have healthy adult lives, and normal parents. People like that usually have OKAY marriages.

The BEST marriages are with couples who were crushed, who went through a painful process, and who built their relationship from the ruins of broken hearts.

There’s an ancient song by King David, “Those who sow in tears will reap harvest in glad song.”

And so it is that pain is often the preview to pleasure. Any woman who has experienced child birth can testify to this truth.

In my work doing marriage coaching, I have noticed that very often the turning point in a marriage is when a couple hits rock bottom. It’s not until they’ve been through the worst that things start to get better.

But the turnaround in a marriage is NOT automatic. Just because you hit bottom, does NOT mean you’ll bounce back. If you don’t make it happen, you’ll just crash. In order to turn your marriage around, you have to take RESPONSIBILITY.

What does it REALLY mean to be responsible? A person who is responsible has the ABILITY to RESPOND. In other words, if you take response-ability for your marriage, then your marriage is not determined solely by what happens; it’s also determined by how you RESPOND to what happens.

A responsible person is not a victim to their circumstances. They are the master of their fate. How you respond to your marital circumstances today WILL determine your marital circumstances tomorrow. YOUR actions create your marriage. You can turn sour grapes into a fine wine.

If you know how to do this, then do it now. If you need help, then USE ME. I can help you. Years ago my marriage was hours from “done.” I turned it around and I can show you how too. I’ve helped thousands of marriages. Have you seen the miracle stories on my web site?

Making a relationship work is not mystical. Love is NOT a mystery. You don’t have to be “lucky in love.” You can “make love.” You just have to know the recipe.

If you want to learn more about how I can help you, subscribe to my FREE report, “7 Secrets for a Stronger Marriage” and get my FREE marriage assessment. CLICK HERE to subscribe. It’s FREE.

AUTHOR: Mort Fertel, Marriage Coach and Author of Marriage Fitness.

Fix Your Marriage